All of My Poems of 2011 and 2012

January 21, 2012
By BryannaAkins PLATINUM, Garden Grove, California
BryannaAkins PLATINUM, Garden Grove, California
21 articles 4 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
"Love is NEVER ugly."

1. This (God)Father's Love
Written by my godfather, Calvin Clark
As I lay your precious head down for the night
I wonder what mystical far away land you're in,
just beyond my sight...

As I stand there watching you sleep,
I ask the Lord your soul to keep
I ask for the strength and guidance from above,
So one day you'll grow up
To know what it's like to share this Father's love...

I never believed in love at first sight,
But when I held you for the first time it just
seemed right
When I hear your soft infant cries, part of me breaks
down as I realize
That I'm filled with unconditional love, overpowered
by joy, knowing that I'm the father of this
beautiful baby girl...

I will show you a world of wonderful sights,
As this father's love takes you to all new heights
Pilot to co-pilot, the same as when I was a kid,
I can't wait to tell you about all the things that I
I pray that this time will last, but it's happening
way too fast...
Before long you'll begin to walk, next thing I know
you'll start to talk...

All too soon you'll become a young lady, no longer
needing to hold your father's hand
And I'll be proud of all that you do
Because there is no greater love than the love
I have for you...

Your (God)Father,

Date: Unknown
2. For My Daughter
written by Calvin Clark, my godfather

I promised the day you were born,
I would always be there.

No matter what you did,
I'll still care.

You can count on me for anything;
I mean that from my heart.

Even if you move away,
and we were miles apart.

You'll always have me by your side,
until the day I die.

But even then, I'll come back for you.
So there will be no need to cry.

I love to know you need me,
and I hope you always do.

Even though I am your Father,
we can still be best friends, too.

So I want you to know,
dear daughter of mine,

I love you now, and until the end of time.

Miss you much,
Love Calvin

Date: August 5, 2008

3. Who Is She?
A poem by Calvin Clark,
my godfather

She's a soft cool rain on a hot summer's day.
She makes me laugh with the funny things she has to say.

She's the beat of my heart, and the air that I breathe.
She's the sun and the wind, and autumn's golden leaves.

She's the pride that I feel when I know she's done what's right.
She's that warm feeling I get when I remember tucking her in at night.

She is my homework and sports, and a busy social life.
She has this beautiful smile that could light up the darkest night.

She is the scared feeling I have when she stays out late.
Or the feeling that I am losing her, when she wants to date.

She's the mixed emotions I have as I watch her mature and grow.
I tell myself she will never leave, but I know in my heart that someday she will go.

I hope the man that steals her heart will treat her like a queen.
Because she deserves so much more, than a man that treats her mean.

I will always cherish the wonderful times we have had.
The best part of my life, was being her Dad.

So now you know who she is, she's my little girl.
I love her with all my heart, and I always will.

To: Bryanna
From: Dad (Calvin)
July 1, 2008

4. Little One
A Poem by my #1 Dad
and Godfather,
Calvin Clark

Only once will you take your first breath
Only once will you take your first step ~

I'll comfort you when you have your first fall
And I'll teach you how to stand straight and tall ~

I'll hold your hand through childhood fears
and guide you true, through teenage tears ~

(note to self and readers: i have only had one good cry at his house,
so he's only comforted me once...)

When your (you're) grown, you'll have courage and conviction
You'll go through life with and heart and intention ~

Remember, little one, the best things in life are free
So love always, laugh often, that is the key ~

Written by Calvin Clark
God father and #1 Dad
(my real dad, Marty, left me after my 7th or 8th birthday,
some dad HE was...)

typed in year 2010
Date: Unknown

5. A Love Gift To You
a poem by my godfather, Calvin Clark

Although you're not my daughter,

I'd like to think you are,

You are so beautiful inside and out,

You shine just like the stars;

Your smile is so very radiant,

Your heart so gentle and true,

All the things I'd like to be,

That's what I see in you;

The road of life has made you wise,

There are memories that are hard to erase,

But you are honest and tell no lies,

A quality that cannot be replaced;

Your brilliance has become a part of my thoughts,

Your strength a part of my dreams,

So please remember I love You,

And for you I would do anything!

(From Father to Daughter ~ Love Always)

Calvin Clark
July 22, 2010

6. Love Speaks Through Us
A Poem by my godfather, Calvin Clark

If the heart can speak,
what would it say,
We try and tell of the feelings
that are deep within us from day to day.

Love is a vast emotion
It can fill you up inside
It can rip you apart and leave you questioning why?

But Love was given to us as a gift
so precious and divine,
So that we can share it with others
So that the light may through us shine.

Some of us look from day to day
desperately to just feel it,
Some of us sort through our thoughts
just trying to figure out how to reveal it.

One does not know the key to it's mystery that runs deep
It is truly just to share,
An emotion to show someone else
how deep down we really care...

To My Darling Daughter,
Bryanna (me)

July 28, 2010

7. Our Fathers by Calvin Clark
Fathers protect their children from wrong,
As a mother would sing a lullaby song.
It is a father’s duty to protect their child,
To keep their children from running wild.
Though there are the fathers that neglect their role,
Only the finest are those who have a soul.
They pass their knowledge to the next generation,
With an unflinching dedication.
A son is the mirror image of their father,
If his heart is pure he will go even farther.
Past the rest and into the sky,
A father would say, I can finally die.
But past the finest are the pure,
Who would stay alive to see for sure…?
That their son or daughter would make it in life,
With a piece of their father on the inside.

(No matter how old you get, you will always be my baby girl.)
Your Loving Father, Calvin
January 11, 2012

Bryanna Michelle Akins’s (My) Poetry

1. M.O.T.H.E.R. by Bryanna Michelle Akins
M is for the Many sacrifices she's made for me.
O is for the good Old times we've had.
T is for the Tiny things she says that makes me laugh, cry, etc.
H is for Her job that she has – being a mom.
E is for Every waking minute we spend together.
R is for her Rambunctious, Rude, but comical jokes she makes.
M.O.T.H.E.R. = A person that means everything to me…

2. G.O.D.F.A.T.H.E.R. by Bryanna Michelle Akins
G.O.D. is for the Good Ol' Days that we spent together in the past and present.
F = Friendship and Father Figure
A = All the love he gives me
T = Taking the Time To Spend the weekends with me.
H = His responsibilities, job, and caring nature is what makes me love you and respect you.
E = Every smile and laugh he manages to make or bust out.
R = Remembering that I'm his goddaughter.
G.O.D.F.A.T.H.E.R. = A man that means everything to me…

3. My Godfather is…
My godfather is the man that loves me to pieces,
And my unconditional love for him never decreases.

My godfather is a man with a lot on his plate,
And when I'm with him, it makes me feel great.

Calvin Clark may be getting old,
But he is a treasure to me that I must behold.

He is athletic, taking on high school Track/Field,
And his love for me is forever revealed.

He is a man at the top of his game,
And he is what I see as a man of fame.

A man I can go to when I'm feeling lonely,
A man that I can call my "one and only."

This man has a heart of solid gold,
And he, at work, has a reputation to uphold.

He's a very important family member;
If the fire is dosed, he will stay burning, even if it's an ember.

So, now you know who my godfather is,
A very special man,
If he were an expensive car,
He would be a luxury Sedan.

4. What My Ex Doesn't Know…
What Jared doesn't know is that I am feeling sad,
But knowing that I didn't tell him yet makes me feel glad.

He has the same birthday as me,
The same age as me, too;
He has ADHD,
But his love for me—to me—is true.

We went on a date to Home Town Buffet,
But, when I left him, I was filled with dismay.

The kisses weren't what they seem,
And his voice may sound naïve;
I may have overlooked my perfect dream,
When I had to grieve him and leave.

I hope I find another man,
That'll treat me like he did;
He loved like no other teen can,
But his knowledge of my feelings for him I must forever forbid.

I broke up with my uncle's wife's son,
And without him even knowing it;
Though the damage is already done,
I'm glad that I had split.

You know why?

When he was hyperactive,
He completely ignored and betrayed me;
That to me made him unattractive,
And he wasn't the kind of person I thought he would be.

Now you know what my Ex doesn't know…

5. My Best Friend, Elaina
I remember her from my child hood years,
I met her when I when I was 8;
I haven't shown her to my peers,
Since I don't have any up-to-date.

My cousin, Mikey, dated her,
She would be like a mother to the both of us;
When an emotional time would recur,
She'd be there to relieve the stress.

She'd be there when I have no one else to look to,
She's my second mom and godfather when I'm feeling blue.

She'll tell my cousin to stop teasing me,
She chews him out with a short temper like he.

I haven't seen her in 3 or 4 years now or so,
I called her a year ago, just to say hello.

She hasn't returned my calls 'cause she has things to do,
But our friendship will always stick like glue.

It doesn't make me upset when she calls me by my nickname, Brie,
The one friend that I'll never forget is Jelly Belly Ellie.

6. Wedding Ring
I always dream of the perfect man that'll come along and meet me.
And I don't care if I wait forever to hear say, "Marry me?"

I'll dreams seeing a wedding ring,
He'll slide it onto my finger.
The joy that ring would bring
Makes me ever so eager.

But until then, I'll have to wait,
I hope to meet him in high school,
I hope to go on another date,
I hope that he'll be sensitive and cool.

I don't want to change for him,
That's not what love's about.
I don't want him to be dim,
And I don't want him to drop out.

Good men are always so hard to find.
I know I have to wait.
I'll always have that wedding ring, stuck in my mind.
I hope my husband will become my soul mate.

I can't the joy the day would hopefully bring,
When I hear him propose, "Will you marry me?" with a diamond wedding ring.

7. What Is Wrong With Me?
I can't get a man,
I have a short temper,
What is wrong with me.

I worried about living on my own,
Though others want to be free and solo.
I don't know if I'll ever get married.
What's wrong with me?

I have an autistic disorder,
Which means I stutter when I try to talk to anyone.
I hope that someone, anyone, will show me some compassion.
And accept me for who I am.

I hope that my perfect man will look past my rough and plump exterior,
And love me for what's on the inside.
I don't know if I could ever witness a miracle like this.
What is wrong with me?

When someone dies, I am not very empathetic.
Maybe it's because I haven't known them very closely.
Every thing I do and every step I take is another worldly mistake.
What is wrong with me?

I hope I have a wedding.
I hope I marry the man of my dreams.
I hope he'll say there's nothing wrong with me.
And I hope his love will be unconditional.

I don't know what surprises my life holds in store.
So I'll keep asking myself day after day,
"What is wrong with me?"

8. Family (Broken Down)
The basic family consists of a father, mother, and their kids.
Sure it may seem perfect.
But don't forget about the people that are also in a family.

What about grandparents? They shape their daughters and sons out
To be successful and to get married to the perfect husband or wife.

What about in-laws? And godparents? And what about cousins, too?

In-laws are your husband's or wife's family that support you and your spouse
Through thick and thin, sickness and health, and for richer and poorer.

Godparents are like second parents that'll replace your mother or father
Should something happen to them.
They pamper you and smother you with love and affection.
They care about you as if they're the God almighty themselves.

Widows are husband or wives with deceased spouses.
The loneliest members of someone's family.

What about uncles and aunts?
The most disciplined ones of my family, particularly.
Mom's Dad's brothers and sisters that drive each other crazy.

What about cousins?
Your best friends, your greatest amount of, your closest things
To having brothers, sisters, or best friends.
You may have 10, or 20, or even 30 cousins that'll either be your
Friends, enemies, rivals, or frenemies [somewhere in between].

Personally, I like my godfathers, mother, cousins,
and grandparents the most; they love me to pieces.
About a medium handful of my cousins are my frenemies,
But all the rest are my family posse.
Mother and grandparents are disciplined, but loving
And I'm pretty okay about it.
But the one person my heart will always adore
Is my godfather, Calvin Clark.

That's a family, broken down by name, importance, and family role.
I've yet to meet someone that has people that I've only heard of:
Cousins that are once and twice removed.
Oh well, might as well stick with what you got, huh?
9. The Outcasts, Bachelors, and Bachelorettes
The loneliest of the 3 single are outcasts in particular.
But first, let's talk about bachelors,
The people that choose to be alone,
Or they just haven't found that perfect girl yet.
Whether it's baggage or relationship problems
Like cheating or being mistreated,
They are the ones that are living alone,
Whether they want to or not.

Bachelorettes are more complex.
For me, a bachelorettes are the plumper ones in high school.
They are left alone to live alone.
The minority of them grows up to be successful in life
and the haters end up working for them.
Maybe they haven't found the perfect man yet.
Whether they have exes that won't let go,
Or their man has been cheating,
Or if they are just in it for the intimate encounters,
These women are alone, whether they want to be or not.

Last of all, the loneliest ones are the outcasts.
They're either your stereotypical nerds, chess club members, or
The mentally and physically challenged people in high school.
Most people pick on them because they have flaws that can be exposed.
They usually end up to be really successful or really low-class, working at a
Fast food restaurant or at the mall, picking up trash or whatnot.
These people are in between, they'll either be bachelors or bachelorettes.
They'll be married or single, successful or low-class, happy or lonely.

Personally, I am an outcast bachelorette.
I will be successful, but I don't know if I'll ever meet the perfect man.
Only time will tell of the 3 Lonely Types of People In Life.

10. There's More To Love…
Today's love is all based on looks, looks, looks.
Men needn't worry about the judgmental people of society.
Women, these days have to worry about gaining weight,
Noticing every wrinkle and zit and blackhead that pop up on our faces,
Worrying about hair in some places that they just don't belong.

We are outcast if we look like anything, but the stereotypical skinny woman.
We choose books and education, they choose looks and curves.
There's more to love than a nice body and personality.
There's more to love than athletes, cheerleaders, and the popular girls.
Men, these days, should look past the curves and pretty jewelry.
Today's beauty is only skin-deep and size shouldn't ever matter
When it comes to finding your future husband.

Men will soon learn that they are cold, stuck-up vultures.
Always hoping for the worst, with baggage galore.
They'll be throwing up their deuces soon,
And we'll be there to rub their faces in it.
We always try to warn them of their impending follies.
We always get overlooked, exiled, betrayed, hated, abandoned.
There's more to love than curves and looks.

Just remember: love is the closest thing we'll ever have to magic
or the closest thing we'll have to witnessing a miracle.
Love is great…but unconditional love is much, much better.

11. Bryan Palomino's Poem (My Best Friend's Poem)
By Bryanna Michelle Akins

No other friend could be as great as you,
I'll be there if you need me.
I'd do anything for you,
You can surely count on me.

From talking in the morning and lunch in school,
To spending time at the Block;
I thought that you were pretty cool,
When you became a football jock.

The way you smile brightens up my day;
It makes me smile, too.
No one's made me feel this way.
I wish I was cool like you.

My respect for you is indescribable,
I'd give my life for you.
And my feelings for you are undeniable.
I wish you knew how I felt about you.

Do you know who he is?
He's the one I've been waiting for.
Does he want me to be his…?
He's the one that I adore…

His first name is Bryan.
He's the same age as me.
I tell you I'm not lyin'.
He makes me so dang happy.

The last thing in this poem, that I would like to say,
I hope that he'll remember me this way;

I hope our friendship will last 'til the end,
'Cause it's a longed-for privilege to be his friend.

Bryan Palomino's the best friend I've had,
He is so nice to me, it makes me feel glad.

Now I've told you who he is,
I wonder…are you a friend of his?

He'll come back his senior year,
I hope he asks me to be his.
I'll always hold him dear.
But does he know what LOVE is?

12. A New Year by Bryanna Michelle Akins
A new year is ahead of me, but what will a new year bring?
Will it bring me luck? Or bring me hope? I know it'll bring me something.

A new year means it's my last year of high school.
From all my bad memories of bullying, I hope that college is cool.

A new year's around the corner, this means that I can change.
I can change my life and change myself because people say I'm strange.

A new year means I can make resolutions, so can my mother, too.
I can get back in shape and maybe I won't feel so blue.

A new year also means my mom can quit her addiction.
She says that she'll try to stop, but I think its pure fiction.

A new year also means that prom is on the way.
Most guys don't give me a chance, they always push me away.

A new year also means there's room for self-improvement.
There's also room for disaster, it's this I want to prevent.

There are many more things that this New Year will throw my way.
I don't know what it'll bring me, so until then, come what may…

13. Chances by Bryanna Michelle Akins
2012…a new year…a new chance.
Another chance to find love and have my 1st dance.

A new year means a new chance to find love.
Another chance for me to find the one I've dreamed of.

Another chance for me to change my life.
Time to get rid of all this strife.

Time for my mother's smoking to quit.
I hate it when I see her smoke, I don't like it one bit.

This New Year that is coming is like a newborn phoenix, rising from a pile of ash.
When the year of '11 has come to an end, it's gone…in a flash.

I want to tell this guy how I feel, but he has a girlfriend now.
Even if I wanted to tell him how I feel, I really wouldn't know how.

He told me before that I'm a good friend, but is it going to change?
I told him before that I have a "handicap"; he probably thinks I'm just strange.

I hope that senior year's the year I find someone I love.
But Bryan's like an angel to me; he's the one I've been dreaming of.

I want to change my life for good,
But part of me doesn't want to change.
I know people think I'm strange,
But I have a disability; I'd change it if I could.

14. Man's Best Friend by Bryanna Michelle Akins
For millennia, they've been called "man's best friend".
They've helped us hunt, they helped protect us, and they're always there for us.
It all began 10,000 years ago, when once we competed for food.
But then, things changed and we used them for protection.

Now, thousands of years later, we have every kind of dog suited for our needs.

Fast dogs, slow dogs, gentle dogs, strong dogs.
Dogs that herd our sheep and cattle, dogs that take care of us.

But what is it about dogs that make them so unique? Let me count the ways…

Even after we had a terrible day, they cuddle with us and keep us company.
We talk to them and they talk back, like children we never had.

They hang on our every word and obey us without question.
Then they do things that make us smile and laugh.

German Shepherds are known for their bravery, Bernard's, for their incredible strength.
Chihuahuas are the smallest of dogs, Great Danes are the biggest.

Pitbulls have had a bad rep for being killers and vicious beasts.
But that's only because they are trained to. Doesn't mean all of them are.

Newfoundlands may be big, they are called gentle giants.
Pomeranians may be small, but they are high-maintenance.

So, whether you need a companion, a nanny, a racer, or a swimmer,
There is no doubt that a dog is the perfect pet for you.

15. Am I Invisible (Fade Into the Background)?
by Bryanna Michelle Akins

Am I invisible? It seems clear to me…
When I talk to them, they talk to all but I.
If I choose to fade into the background,
I would choose to go where I won't be found.
So often that I have to depart and say goodbye;
I wonder why I even bother to talk to my so-called "friends".
Depressing face…so misunderstood…and alone…I try to be the good guy.
When I snap…they question why…no one knows, but I…

16. Social Hindrance by Bryanna Michelle Akins
Asperger's Syndrome, known also as A.S.
This is my disability.
This hindrance causes me so much stress,
No one knows how bad it can be.

I can't make friends as well as the others,
And I wish my friends would know.
Keeping friends is harder for me,
My friendships can't seem to grow.

There are some things that are fine by me.
But no seems to see,
That when I shout, or yell, or snap,
They can't seem to shut their trap.

I know they're thinking, "What a brat!"
But sometimes, they act like that.
There are a few I see as a rat,
And there is no doubt about that.

Asperger's Syndrome doesn't mean I know crap;
I read so much that I know a little of everything.
But when talking about love, there's an empty gap,
And when it gets too much, I tend to snap.

My hindrance isn't all that bad.
I absorb info like a sponge.
Errors are what I like to expunge,
And my GPA makes me so glad.

My disability means I get stuck in La La Land.
This gets my mom really angry.
That's why I'm probably better off alone.
I want them to understand.

Asperger's Syndrome may win over sometimes; but I know I'll come out on top someday!!!
With brains, comedy, and dashing good looks, I'll bounce back from whatever comes my way!!!

17. Angel in Disguise by Bryanna Michelle Akins
It was as far back as Mid-March, and I was sitting down in the cafeteria.
Carmen was eating with me, until I saw him…
I soon realized that they weren't a couple, so that enlightened me much.
His name was a manlier version of mine, with a face…so divine.
He is Bryan, Bryan Palomino, a junior on his way to becoming an adult.
When he found out my name, he gave a smile that touched both ears.
Then, came the night where I asked him out too soon.
I cried for almost a half hour.
Then, there came the night when I found out he did drugs.
He said, "This is who I am…"
But at this point, I didn't seem to care.
I spilled my heart many a times, too.
I told him that I liked him, in a way that didn't freak him out,
And I told him about my "social hindrance"; he seemed to understand,
Understand why I am the way I am; I felt a ton lighter after that.
Recently, I went to the Winter Fair with him at my school before Winter Break.
We spent almost a whole hour together, talking, laughing, exchanging our most charming smiles.
We may not talk often now, but it is an honor to be his friend.
Out of everyone I knew, in all my 10 years of trying to have friends that truly understand me,
Bryan Palomino is a beautiful angel in disguise, sent by God to help me…

18. If Only They Knew… by Bryanna Michelle Akins
Students at my school behave so rudely ev'ry now and then…they wonder why I scream.
My only thought is this: "If ONLY they knew…"
To tell you the truth, at home, I'm not as bad as I really seem,
However, my childhood is partly why I have low self-esteem.
My social hindrance means I may ignore a "social cue".
Why do I care at all? People never gave me a chance to be their friend.
There will come a day that they will rue…
All of my misery and anguish will come to an end.
'Til then, my only thought…"If ONLY they knew…"

19. Be My Sweetheart by Bryanna Michelle Akins
I may not be what you'll expect, but I'll ask you to be my sweetheart…
Be my valentine, my baby, my love, my sweetie…
Underneath my abrasive and crunchy outside, I got a sweet, lovable, caramel center.
Give me a chance…to show you how great I am.
Because every year, I am left all alone.
I'll never forget you at all…I'll never forget a birthday.
And when you want to spill your heart out, you can always spill it to me.
You'll never feel completely sad when you see my beautiful face each day.
So I ask you, my one and only…
Will you make my birthday wish come true…?
Will you be my valentine...?
Will you be my sweetheart?

20. How to Be a Friend by Bryanna Michelle Akins
You need to know how to be a friend.
Actions speak louder than words…
Talk is cheap when it comes out your mouth.
Talk to me and don't just nod and say, "Uh-huh…"
Notice me when I see you in school.
Ask me how my day was.
Don't forget my birthday when Valentine's Day comes around.
Don't rat me out just because I am in a bad mood.
Help me out instead of ignoring me.
Visit me ev'ry now and then when I want to spend some time with you.
Don't pick on me behind my back; don't talk trash about me or my friends.
Don't humiliate me in front of your friends and leave me ridiculed.
Every friend has their flaws, but you have flaws that seem like laws.
So, when we meet for the first time ever,
Don't just say you'll be my friend.
You really need to know…how to be my friend.

21. Only One Remains… by Bryanna Michelle Akins
He dated so many girls before…
He broke with them and slammed the door.

Keke, Anna, Judy, Hailey, and Nina.
Sally, Sandy, Dana, Karina.

All of which ended in heartache.
All of which were a two-timing snake.

His best friend, Dianna, who he knows very well,
Started to come to him, it rang like a bell.

He dated all his friends that caused him heart pains.
After all this time, only one remains.

He went to her house…it was Valentine's Day.
But then he knew it was also her birthday.

He picked up some flowers and a box of candy,
Knowing that she would feel very dandy.

He knocked on her door…she let the boy in.
What cane across his face was a might grin.

He gave her a card…a valentine,
Dropped on one knee and said, "Will you be MINE?!"

Every year, not one guy came,
She knew this year would never be the same.

So he gave her the roses, the candy…know this:
He pulled her close and gave a romantic kiss.

For the rest of the day, they went on a date.
He knew that his friend was indeed his soul mate.

Who is Bryan…? by Bryanna Michelle Akins
Who is Bryan? He is everything to me…
Being his best friend makes me happy.

He is an angel that heaven sent.
His handsome smile leaves me content.

With smooth, brown hair and bright, brown eyes…
I'd be so depressed if Bryan dies.

We took a picture; we talked for awhile,
One thing I love is his sense of style.

I know I'm in his thoughts, he once told me so,
And I love him much more than you know…

I hope I get to tell him how much he means to me…
My love is as big as the ocean…as far as the eye can see.

But until then, I'll always be there for my friend.
He can always count on me; I'll be there until the end.

22. My Future Career by Bryanna Michelle Akins
I know what I want to be,
I know I want to write.
Books in stores…written by me.
Books as far as the eye can see…
I'll write books and poems that give you a fright.
No rules, no teachers, and write whatever I want to.
I know I am very bright.
I'll always write something new…
Maybe I will start with, "It was a dark and stormy night…"

The author's comments:
This is all of my poetry thus far, with my godfather's poetry as well, there are some new ones in here, enjoy!!! check out my book at this link:

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