Daddy's Womb MAG

April 23, 2008
By Carl Haynes, Staten Island, NY

i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.

So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.

i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.

The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.

i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.

i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.



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This article has 2125 comments.


on Nov. 18 2011 at 12:01 pm
Leyna1997 BRONZE, Crystal, Minnesota
3 articles 3 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
And I'll write you poetry,
with the prettiest words that you ever did read,
no i never write like that.



-Sick of Sarah

No disrespect, but maybe if you put a little more effort into writing your poetry and getting noticed instead of putting time into bragging and whinning, we would all be looking and commenting on your poem instead.

Cubster BRONZE said...
on Nov. 17 2011 at 4:27 pm
Cubster BRONZE, Lindstrom, Minnesota
3 articles 0 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You may be on the right track but you'll get run over if you just sit there."

Have you written poetry pefore? You are my inspiration.

on Nov. 16 2011 at 11:26 am
cftcft9090 BRONZE, Providence, Rhode Island
1 article 0 photos 1 comment
This was amazing!!!!!!!!! How do you find the inspiration to create such a magnificent piece, or any piece in general?

emattox SILVER said...
on Nov. 16 2011 at 10:51 am
emattox SILVER, Onancock, Virginia
9 articles 1 photo 29 comments

Favorite Quote:
You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty. -Ghandi

I had to read this like five times before I could comprehend it :) The message is really good, definitely one of those that makes you think!

on Nov. 15 2011 at 6:12 pm
Kimmie_Kat SILVER, Orlando, Florida
5 articles 3 photos 14 comments
HAVE YOU GUYS EVER WONDERED HOW THESE POEMS GOT SOOOOOO POPULAR? HOE IS IT SO POPULAR? I WRITE GOOD POEMS TOO!

Adam said...
on Nov. 15 2011 at 9:16 am
This was a pretty cool and confusing story. My best friend drowned in a pond so it was a little sad that he say you will drown...

SassysGirl said...
on Nov. 15 2011 at 8:56 am
 I think this poem is really good as it uses a lot of description and good detail. why didnt the sons father let him him, but he let him fly?

PRDGirl BRONZE said...
on Nov. 15 2011 at 8:40 am
PRDGirl BRONZE, NY, New York
1 article 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
Live for tomorrow cuz yeserday is so in the passed

I think it was  just great.

on Nov. 14 2011 at 1:35 pm
TheWhiteFlower BRONZE, Greenville, South Carolina
2 articles 0 photos 36 comments

Favorite Quote:
No man can be called friendless who has God and the companionship of good books. ~Elizabeth Barrett Browning


bubbles.. said...
on Nov. 14 2011 at 6:49 am
bubbles.., Warren, Michigan
0 articles 0 photos 34 comments

Favorite Quote:
Dont forget the bad. learn from it.

she deff does. i tell her everyday. and i give her a high five and help her out as much as i can. i love her. shes my fav teacher.

:)


on Nov. 13 2011 at 5:45 pm
JayJay1998 BRONZE, Lenexa, Kansas
2 articles 1 photo 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Inspiration exists, but it has to find you working." -Pablo Picasso

That was  amazing! 

on Nov. 13 2011 at 1:38 pm
MANGALOVER33 BRONZE, BROOKFIELD, Illinois
2 articles 0 photos 7 comments

Favorite Quote:
"What you've said can't be undone" The Fray

That's true. Tell your teacher they're awesome =) I don't think they hear it enough.

on Nov. 12 2011 at 4:54 pm
HannahLaRen SILVER, Atchison, Kansas
5 articles 0 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
The harder you work, the harder it is to surrender.

Amazing poem, very deep, I love your choice of words. great job.! 

bubbles.. said...
on Nov. 10 2011 at 6:58 am
bubbles.., Warren, Michigan
0 articles 0 photos 34 comments

Favorite Quote:
Dont forget the bad. learn from it.

one of my teachers always say its better to keep them wanting more. :)

on Nov. 9 2011 at 8:17 pm
MANGALOVER33 BRONZE, BROOKFIELD, Illinois
2 articles 0 photos 7 comments

Favorite Quote:
"What you've said can't be undone" The Fray

Yep. I guess it's best to leave some mystery in poems, to make them more interesting.

Dreammer GOLD said...
on Nov. 9 2011 at 3:08 pm
Dreammer GOLD, Montrose, Pennsylvania
19 articles 0 photos 37 comments

Favorite Quote:
Love is like quicksand the further you fall the harder it is to get out

Well written look at mine and comment please :) Oh yeah I'd like an honest opinion

bubbles.. said...
on Nov. 9 2011 at 6:39 am
bubbles.., Warren, Michigan
0 articles 0 photos 34 comments

Favorite Quote:
Dont forget the bad. learn from it.

makes you wonder

 


DylanRock GOLD said...
on Nov. 8 2011 at 5:38 pm
DylanRock GOLD, Cork, Other
10 articles 0 photos 10 comments

Favorite Quote:
And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.

I think maybe the metaphor of the chain is a strong one which pushes more towards prisoner than caring for safety, I'm unsure whether this is deliberate though.

DylanRock GOLD said...
on Nov. 8 2011 at 5:36 pm
DylanRock GOLD, Cork, Other
10 articles 0 photos 10 comments

Favorite Quote:
And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.

Good writing. Personally though, I didn't like it. I felt I couldn't relate to it but that's just me. Saying that, it was written well. Well done on its success here!

on Nov. 8 2011 at 2:47 pm
Gracious PLATINUM, Go Away, Kansas
22 articles 0 photos 66 comments

Favorite Quote:
"life sucks and then you die, yeah, i should be so lucky"



-Jacob, Twilight

I’m still that girl who falls when she runs, Getting back up, because falling is fun.

Stop doingthis


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