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Daddy's Womb MAG
April 23, 2008
i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.
So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.
i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.
The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.
i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.
i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.
© Anonymous
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This article has 2181 comments.
carolinagirl996 BRONZE said...
on Dec. 17 2012 at 12:12 am
wow... beautiful! I love this
NickBottom SILVER said...
on Dec. 12 2012 at 9:56 pm
This is really interesting. Is it supposed to be about your father limiting you?
EllieSwims BRONZE said...
on Dec. 10 2012 at 9:30 pm
This poem connects to me on so many levels. My dad hates the idea of me becoming a writer.
FearlessAngel GOLD said...
on Dec. 10 2012 at 10:26 am
Wow. I love that you tossed out the rules of grammar and made it seem more innocent. This is real poetry: imagry writing about emotion and mentality. Amazing = )
If you don't mind me asking, what inspired you to write this and when you did, did you have to rewrite it alot or was this pretty much your first draft? Also is this your favorite poem, or at least one of them? Did you think it was going to be so successfull? Im sorry...i ask a lot :)
ChobaniLuvinPenguin PLATINUM said...
on Nov. 1 2012 at 3:30 pm
That was just amazing!!!!!! Such a beautiful poem! The rhythm helps it flow and really shapes the story. You're so good!!!! Keep writing!
joshua Curry BRONZE said...
on Nov. 1 2012 at 11:54 am
This is an incredible story
joshua Curry BRONZE said...
on Nov. 1 2012 at 11:54 am
This is a great story youre a good story teller
dotsonboy99 BRONZE said...
on Nov. 1 2012 at 11:11 am
loved the story .and loved the flow
pinmaster95 GOLD said...
on Oct. 29 2012 at 11:01 pm
this was very uniqe and i enjoyed it.
Sarah Crowley BRONZE said...
on Oct. 22 2012 at 9:21 pm
Really cool idea to work with, your words flowed so effortlessly
iimoeloveii GOLD said...
on Oct. 22 2012 at 5:58 am
i love that poem
guillermo123 BRONZE said...
on Oct. 17 2012 at 12:11 pm
I liked that you used the word I, it gives the reader a better understanding of your personal experience.
NoMercy666 BRONZE said...
on Oct. 17 2012 at 9:56 am
Your poem has a nice idea but the rhyming factor limits it greatly. Avoiding end rhyme could probably help expand the point your poem is trying to make.
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