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Each day, you’re wearing away
Your flesh and your fat; your mind and your soul
Pound by pound it rips away pigments of who you are
Days spent counting calories and fighting them off
Until you are only a body, nothing to suggest there is
A person cradled inside of those frail bones
And what person starves them self of all happiness
in search of happiness?
You wake up, and repeat the actions, like a skeleton set on autopilot
Food; trash, fingers; throat, body; sweat, eyes; cry
There is nothing left of you;
You are a disorder



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This article has 62 comments. Post your own!

ChocoMint said...
Aug. 27, 2011 at 4:46 pm:
 I thought it was a little confusing for me personally.  It may just be because I've never had or known someone with a disorder.  I didn't like it as much as your other poems.
 
ohheyyyelli replied...
Aug. 28, 2011 at 4:16 pm :
Okay, thank you so much for the feedback! (:
 
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FreedomIsMyVirtue said...
Aug. 27, 2011 at 3:23 am:
This poem is kinda similar to one of mine which is about consciousness in one's appearance.

Anyway, some lines are disturbingly long while some are not? I think they could use some work. Second, there is noe word such as themself. Rather, it is thmselves. Or at least I think so. But since this is a poem, grammar isn't that bad a monster.

And, oh, this is really a great poem!!!
 
ohheyyyelli replied...
Aug. 27, 2011 at 2:29 pm :

I didn't know about themself not being a word...thank you!

Since it's freeverse, I don't try to keep all the lines the same length, I prefer mine like this actually. But I do understand what your saying, many people may not enjoy reading it. Thank you for the helpful feedback(:

 
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MagicMan2011 said...
Aug. 26, 2011 at 9:02 pm:
This is really good. Personaly, I don't have a eating disorder but this really does show what it feels like to people who dont know. Great job!
 
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Bambi67 said...
Aug. 26, 2011 at 12:04 pm:
wow this is a perfect way of descriving an eating disorder without actually saying the exact words,I love it. PS...I don't see nothing wrong with it,check out mine thank you
 
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casielynnxoxo said...
Aug. 23, 2011 at 4:35 pm:
This is so true, it clarifies what eating disorders do to poeple so perfectly. This is my favorite of yours.
 
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MagicMan2011 said...
Aug. 21, 2011 at 9:27 pm:
Wow great job. I don't see anything wrong with it
 
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DeusExMachina said...
Aug. 10, 2011 at 7:39 pm:
wow. just spectacular
 
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HannSawyer15 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 10, 2011 at 11:59 am:
Wow... a few of my friends struggle with anorexia actually the only thing I would change is your second line maybe change it too "pound by pount ripping away pigments of who you are" but obviously it's not that big of a deal... I really really liked this and I think you hit the nail right on the head. Good job!
 
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PoetikMuzyk said...
Aug. 10, 2011 at 11:34 am:

wow 5/5 this really spoke to me it just amazes me that ppl go to great lengths in search of happiness when its been staring them in the face all this time

 

 
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Zildj This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 10, 2011 at 2:23 am:
The context of disorder makes this poignant. Cool idea. 
 
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thetruthawaits94 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 10, 2011 at 12:23 am:
i'm not entirely sure but on line seven it might need to be "selves". this is a great topic and you shined light on such a terrible situation such as this. good job!
 
ohheyyyelli replied...
Aug. 10, 2011 at 11:12 am :
I contemplated that for a bit too but I ended up using self. Thanks!
 
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LizzieBallerina said...
Aug. 6, 2011 at 10:49 am:
Beautifully written. I love the imagery, the message, everything. I can really see how the person is losing themselves and wearing away mentally and physically. Beautiful work, Elli.
 
-TheAftermath- replied...
Aug. 9, 2011 at 10:59 pm :
I love the topic. I can totally relate because I have a friend, or shall I say had a friend, similar to this. Amazing.
 
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HaleyDRog. said...
Aug. 2, 2011 at 10:33 pm:
I really like the message!
 
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MissColleen said...
Aug. 2, 2011 at 6:31 pm:
This was so well written! I relate to it and it brought up a bubble of emotion. I love this, it was great. Very powerful.
 
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Raytheraym said...
Aug. 1, 2011 at 2:34 pm:
Wow, wow! This is great! Very well written with wonderful emotion and meaningfulness. :)
 
ohheyyyelli replied...
Aug. 1, 2011 at 11:26 pm :
Thankyou (:
 
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