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July 5, 2011
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Who knew one text would change everything.
You disappeared so suddenly.
Our world was turned upside down, inside out,
as our hearts were torn to pieces.

Four months later, and hearing your name still brings pain so strong it takes everything just to keep ourselves off the ground.
Pieces of you are everywhere we look.
We can't escape your smile, your infectious laugh.
Something we're only able to recall in memories that would never do justice to you.
and when it's too much to handle we squeeze our eyes shut to block out the constant reminders of what we've lost
Only to discover that the memories play like a broken record.
Over and over.
Like the jagged pieces of a broken mirror, the pieces we are left in won't ever fit back together the way they used to.
but we learn to live with the holes in our makeshift hearts.
Pictures of you still cover our walls and stare up at us from phones as we try so desperately to hold on to you
even though you so desperately wanted to get away.
Letting you go was never an option.
We walk the halls of the school where you're laugh echoes
Flashing smiles at each other, knowing that behind that smile lies a pain we all feel.
Something those who never knew you couldn't ever understand.
All of these reminders may draw tears,
but the thought of letting you go is so much more painful.
So instead we pretend that the option doesn't exist.
We refuse to lose you, even if your already gone.

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