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The rut of despair

I'm trapped in this hole once again. I'm about to pull myself out to rid myself of the agony, but don't want to. I want to wallow in it for the rest of eternity. It's a rut, for once, I'm not afraid of. I will gladly live in it until YOU pull me out. I love you and will until I forget you were ever in my life, which is a thought I fear more tan death. I'm sorry for anything I may've done to hurt you. I miss you. You were my everything, my heart, my all, MINE. Your memory haunts me, but I don't ever want to forget.

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