the Storm of Feelings

September 25, 2009
By BellaFlor BRONZE, Victorville, California
BellaFlor BRONZE, Victorville, California
2 articles 0 photos 2 comments

it came, just like a thunderstorm,
crept in, clouds in all,
and the love flourished all to me, gradually,
.
i first noticed his features,
then his smile, and his laughter,
the clouds, califlower like and beautiful in shape,
they rolled in over the mountains,
.
i didnt notice him till he came into view,
then as the clouds came closer,
so did he,
closer to my heart,
.
then, as time passed,
a thunderstorm hit,
it was amazing,
the lightning struck
his love hit me,
and filled me with joy,
.
then the clouds roared,
the rain came,
and so did the sorrow, and emptiness,
.
but soon the thunderstorm slowly flowed away,
the talks died out,
and the clouds departed,
when it left,
so did his feelings for me.

The author's comments:
Commas mean a break or a short pause in your reading, and will be useful if you read with the pauses.

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This article has 2 comments.


on Sep. 10 2010 at 10:30 pm
Thoughtful-Inker SILVER, Port Neches, Texas
9 articles 3 photos 11 comments

Favorite Quote:
Everything is okay is the end; if it's not okay, it's not the end.

This is quite a beautifuly written piece of work. I love the metaphor behind it. This poem is, in my opinion, very well structured. I agree with SarahZ: Please keep writing! I'd love to follow your work.

on Oct. 11 2009 at 1:14 pm
JohnDeereGirl DIAMOND, Westerlo, New York
61 articles 36 photos 216 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I'm not"
"Somewhere betweeen us talking, you saying I deserve better, and you making me laugh when I wanted to cry, I fell in love with you."

wow i love thi spoem. i can relate to is 100%. keep writing!


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