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Jerk This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

I love your voice,
your soft brown hair.
I love your eyes
and love your stare.

I love your laugh,
your cocky smirk,
your stupid jokes.
You precious jerk,

you know I do.
I want my hands
all through your hair
each treasured strand.

I’m wrapped around
your finger still.
Am I yet yours?
Your love does kill

the things I hold
so close to me
and yet you’re the
best jerk I see.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.




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Kenziemcm13 said...
May 31, 2012 at 1:40 am
Great peice of work! Loved it! Absolutely loved it! May I ask that you read a few of mine they are not nearly as good but I would be honored if you read them and commented what I could do better? Please! :)
 
lgvwhiteman said...
May 29, 2012 at 7:36 pm
I think you have a great rhythm going and good rhymes, but there are some lines that could be made more powerful. For instence, "Your love does kill" loses some of its bite because the word 'does' isn't doing a lot of work. I would rework that line. 
 
forevermore147 said...
May 22, 2012 at 1:06 pm
wow i love it!!! very very good
 
latrel said...
May 21, 2012 at 12:52 pm
I like the metaphors and the stanzas are fantastic!
 
aduke9 said...
May 20, 2012 at 2:20 pm
That was a very well-written poem. Good job and keep writing.
 
crushed_veneer said...
May 17, 2012 at 6:39 pm
totally relatable and really good descriptions, very good! :)
 
SoccaPlaya19 said...
May 6, 2012 at 3:55 pm
That. Was. So. Amazingly. Good. I can totally relate to that. 
 
chips said...
May 3, 2012 at 2:31 pm
I enjoyed the oxymoron about the jerk being special. I also liked the metaphor you used when you were talking about his cocky smirk. great job
 
airjohnnys said...
May 3, 2012 at 12:56 pm

I like how the person you're talking about is a likeable jerk and you're using metaphors and oxymorons

 

 
rebeckabear said...
May 3, 2012 at 12:20 pm
this writing is very cool i wish i had a jerk in my life that i like write on. you know whats right, sit down and write
 
Heartbrokengurl replied...
Jun. 7, 2012 at 2:08 am
Actually, hate it when that happens..kind of sad.
 
Ariberry13 said...
May 2, 2012 at 5:30 pm
love it .. i hate when that happens
 
KayKay6 said...
May 2, 2012 at 11:38 am
This is a very good poem! I am basically going through the same thing right now, and the picture that came to my mind when reading this made it better. Good job! :D
 
KaraleeB said...
May 2, 2012 at 7:51 am
great! You showed that there was love, and there was hate and it was plain to see using oxymorons. It also had a great use of metaphor like when you expalined his hair, it illustrated an image.
 
Jordan T. D. said...
May 1, 2012 at 2:12 pm
Great job, I love the oxymoron that you used with the precious jerk. It was amazing altogether but I also liked the hair metaphor. Great job again, and keep writing.
 
Tanner B. said...
May 1, 2012 at 8:12 am
Good job! I liked the oxymoron about the jerk being precious. I also liked the metaphor you used when you were talking about his hair.
 
KaraleeB said...
May 1, 2012 at 8:07 am
This poem had nice rythem and the verses flowed together to create an impressive stanza.
 
Haim :P said...
Apr. 30, 2012 at 10:34 am
This poem has a very good sense of rhythmic structure and I like how there are some oxymorons. People can relate to the poem and it is very well written. It was clear how the writer was involved with the person the poem was talking about.
 
CamCam<3 said...
Apr. 30, 2012 at 10:33 am
This was very well written! You used great figurative language. I really liked the assonance. It made the piece so much more interesting! Another thing I really liked was how you used metaphors and idioms to compare this "jerk" to what you are feeling. Keep writing!!! You are an AWESOME writer
 
jlb1993 said...
Apr. 28, 2012 at 6:25 pm
Very well written, love it. "Your cocky smirk, your stupid jokes. You precious jerk" this bit is brilliant very witty, sounds like something I could imagine Morrissey singing
 
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