There is nothing left destructible
Damaged goods is the label
I’ve already been broken
My happiness fiercely shaken
You take me by the shoulders
Against my frail skin like boulders
I rattle silently in your hands
The light clatter of cans.

I no longer need protection
Defense or ammunition
My reflection no longer troubles me
An ugly mess is not what I see
I’ve studied more attentively
The basic contours precisely
My trip forms a map on my skin
The scars veiling a mask within
Yet I see in me the girl I’ve always been
My ordeal adding a tinted sheen.

I’m making a transition
Coming to a more stable position
Of course I will never forget
That I needed a safety net
Each happy memory
We shared blissfully
Is now smeared shed blood
Tears streaming to flood
Like beautiful calligraphy
Acts as an autobiography
Now tear-stained and drenched
Hours of crying I achieved
None, not even pain heaved.

Because I am drawn back deep
When these feelings seep
You visit me warm
In my dreams and transform
I awake cold and see dark
To your voice I hark
And I realize we are two
Never entwined: one.

Hate is not something I feel
My determination hard as steel
For I could never resent something
So beautiful with meaning
Though all I have left of you
Is what I am faced with everyday too
An everlasting ache
The want and need with stake
To see your beautiful face again
To help me remain sane.

I don’t know what is left
Apart from the hurt I need to heft
Or what is to come of my future
I want out of this torture
Because I know and I have learnt
This is has not healed but burnt
You make me feel sheer bliss, allure
Yet disease without cure
And I do not see what’s beautiful anymore.