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Make Believe This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

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We were doomed from the beginning,
Blinded from the start,
But nothing can be done
To fool a happy heart.
With each smile and giggle,
Every embrace and every kiss,
We were shooting toward a happy ending,
And we missed.
Cinderella lost her slipper
And it was never found.
Prince Charming came too late,
Now no one’s sleeping sound.
Pillows are soaking wet,
Hopes are all lost.
No more dancing in the clouds.
Dreams have all been tossed.
The fairy-tale warmth has left us
As winter’s setting in.
The storybook reads the end,
But where should we begin?
Now your heart strives to be broken,
And you long for lonely nights
This time our ship is sinking
We’re going down without a fight.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.




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Krissy F. said...
May 14, 2012 at 12:38 pm
This poem was amazing! I loved the way you used assonance and consonance in your writing. The metaphors really made the writing interesting.
 
Indilove said...
May 14, 2012 at 8:19 am
I love this!!!! The flow, the wording, the style, the relativity, the amazing concept! You are a fantastic writer!!!!! 
 
SkylerTheBrave said...
May 14, 2012 at 1:16 am
This was really well written. I enjoyed reading this greatly. Keep up the good work. 
 
JackieSevi said...
Apr. 22, 2012 at 5:03 pm
wow.. I love it! 
 
pandagirl312 said...
Apr. 15, 2012 at 1:11 pm
Love the rhyme, great poem overall. I can really connect...great job!
 
writer3499 said...
Mar. 31, 2012 at 5:14 pm
This is sooo good!!! Amazing
 
MysteriousWounds said...
Mar. 31, 2012 at 4:52 pm
i love this! it flows so wonderfully ^_^
 
dreamshakerThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Mar. 9, 2012 at 8:51 pm
this was absolutely amazing! I loved it!
 
Nicole67 said...
Mar. 9, 2012 at 12:02 pm
that was amazing! i have felt that way about relationships! keep writing ill be looking forward to reading your work. :)
 
samisk3wl said...
Feb. 6, 2012 at 2:34 pm
This was amazing! I liked the mention of cinderella and the titanic, it was very creative!
 
beautifulspiritThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Feb. 2, 2012 at 9:28 pm
Wow what a shockingly realistic ending to an otherwise happily ever after story. Maybe because fairy tales are not real---you broke the chain. The reference to Cinderella and Prince Charming was good though.
 
Kate298 said...
Jan. 25, 2012 at 3:44 pm
Love this! :) Check out my work as well please? :)
 
DancingFingertips said...
Jan. 25, 2012 at 2:15 pm
I hate the break the chain of elated readers, but I just wanted to offer some constructive criticism. I thought you really broke the flow with this line: "We were shooting toward a happy ending, And we missed." Once I read that, I couldn't help but stop dead. It took me a second to get back into it; it might have worked better if the rhythm of the last line was the same as the one above it. But congrats, I really liked the allusion to Prince Charming and Cinderella as well. Cheerfully Depressing... (more »)
 
eliana924 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Dec. 18, 2011 at 9:36 pm
Great job! I like the way you reference fairy-tales to highlight your point.
 
ElleNicole said...
Dec. 12, 2011 at 9:42 pm
Hey, this is good. Mind checking out my work? Thanks.
 
aveawave said...
Dec. 12, 2011 at 3:10 pm
Way to go! :D
 
lemondrop16 said...
Dec. 12, 2011 at 1:54 pm
I absolutely love this.
 
SmartTart said...
Dec. 10, 2011 at 9:07 pm
I liked it! i can aqree. Made me feel that fantasy is as far as can be from reality
 
shreya756 said...
Nov. 20, 2011 at 8:32 am

I really love this.

Good job. Funy though, how this poem talks about the warmth that's non existant and while reading, I felt so grateful that it Prince Charming did come. It made me feel grateful for the wamth that still exists. It's amazing how sometimes we need fairytales to be able to piece together our reality. 

Really well done.

 
TheWhiteFlower said...
Nov. 14, 2011 at 3:16 pm
one word= W O W!!!!!
 
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