Perhaps I should ask myself
How much more I can take
Till I’m stripped to my face
And knees.
Perhaps I should take a walk
To see the callous creature I have become.
To dwell on faces I’ve not meant to break
Features I have not meant to corrupt.
Perhaps I should make a call and
Await the explanation
That drives me to speak
Of myself.
My will has become powerful.
You cannot defeat it sir, I am sorry.
God, I am sorry, this doesn’t concern you.
I have chosen to become
A monster
Who rises after midnight
And walks the streets
Till I collapse.
Till I collapse I will talk to you
And act as though I am insane only temporarily.
Till I collapse I will sing and act as though
Joy has brought me to sing.
Till I collapse I shall hide out behind dog houses, wind, and dark walls
That support my cravings.
Till I collapse I will lie to you.
I do not want to disappoint you my dear.
Till I collapse I shall carry my bottle and smoke
Myself retarded.
Till I collapse I will not return to the places
I am expected.
Till I collapse I shall carry the pain in a box
Heavier than I could imagine.
Till I collapse I shall deceive myself and
Act as though I am okay.
Perhaps I should collapse.
Perhaps I should take a look at my inner fillings and
Paint a seat across the sea.
Perhaps I should take a deep breath before I
Say the things that will regret my face
In the morning.
Perhaps I should take a moment
And contemplate happiness,
Oh happiness.
Perhaps I shall collapse
To comprehend the shrieks and cries of the
Bottom of my soul.
Perhaps I shall collapse tomorrow,
In time to run an errand or two
Before the world expires.