April 14, 2008
The thoughts, the memories, they strangle me.
Unbelievable and unfamiliar pain and suffering.
The stench of war overwhelms me.
“Do you love me?” He asked. But I did not know love.
I was blind to everything.
I rejected him.
I broke his heart.
Now in return, my heart is being crumbled. Ground into dust.
Now I know his pain,
In a way, I am glad. To know I am sharing his miseries.
By suffering, I feel less guilt.
The little twin boy’s eyes stalk me everywhere I go.
Knowing that I was a killer, a murderer, life wasn’t good enough to hold onto.
Yet…there is light. There is hope.
The Giver is the faint hint of flame.
“…The Giver would help….”
He is the way to peace.

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