June 25, 2008
When I finally get to go home
A flash of relief washes over me and I leap from my seat
The shrill cry of the battle raging inside my head
Falters instantaneously with the piercing ring of the phones alarm,
As if a “cease-fire!” order for the war within me has been
From the other end of the telephone

Their soft faces are crowding around me
Slowly edging in…
Speaking to me through a hushed, gentle whir
Their thin, rhythmic voices
Like breathing through a straw

And the next thing I know I’m staring straight into
Mrs. Wiggins’ gentle pout of compassion
Communicating to me with her small greenish eyes
That I will be
And knowing,
With the naïve certainty of a small loving child
That she sincerely wants for me
To be alright

Multiple tenuous voices
Carry me over a silvery, satin cloud
As I float towards the door
Caressing me with their gentle voices,
Quieting the pounding in my head,
Creating this eerily fuzzy picture,
Simultaneously sensational to emerging from a swimming pool
When your bloodshot eyes
Are so filled to the brim with chlorine
That you can barely see a thing
And you realize that all
The lights
Around you are
Outlined in an illusion
Of thick white fuzz,
And that people are so blindingly bright like
In a haze of beautiful white fuzz,
That they resemble angels

Much like baby Jesus in the manger at Christmas time…
I wonder if the reason people are not able to
So surreally outlined within this same radiant white light
Is because
People are lights
Just walking,
Brightening earth’s individuals
Day after day,
With generous smiles
Soft goodbyes that you say to someone unknown to you
Who has a
Vigorously migraine,
Or simply by being one’s savior,
A mother

I am beginning to feel very confused contemplating all this
Through my own pounding, fuzzy head

“Bye, Monica”
“Bye, Monica”
“We hope you get well soon”
And they give me one final nudge
Out the door,
Where I float
Down the hallway,
And past the lockers,
Into the cool, welcoming lobby,
To my mother,
Who puts
Around my tired shoulders
While I concentrate on trying not to smile
Because it hurts,
Because her glow
Is the brightest
Of them all.

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