Reminiscing on the past ...

As I stand here an reminisce on the past;
I don’t know how I lasted through the pain
and the struggles.
The tears; oh the tears I cant even imagine
how many years I wasted with my tears ..
I remember all the times I smiled, laughed and loved.
I remember the times that I was so happy
but the next minute be so sad.
I remember laughing till I cried,
I remember crying to the point
where I wanted to
leave with out saying good bye.
So young and nieve; all I wanted was love;
Instead from receiving it from the people
I wanted it from the most’
I received it from men that
barely even knew me, and deep down
I knew they will never care about me.
My life was full packed with so many dramatic scenes;
but I cant point the finger at anyone else but me.
You see, through out my past I use to blame
everyone, anyone, and anything that crossed me.
I use to be so bad at it that I pushed
my love ones so far away from me.
As I stand here an reminisce on the past;
I realize that I was in control of all my actions
I had control of MY LIFE. But I made the
mistake and put my life in other people hands.
I let other people run my life. Little did I know
they would have ruined my life.
So vulnerable and stupid to see
what I had potential to be. I couldn’t see what I
had; but in reality I was so damn lucky ..