Time goes by so fast
it feels as if the last time
I opened my eyes,
you were still here.
But you are still here,
when I close my eyes
you are with me.
When my eyes are closed,
the sun shines and this feeling
exerts energy
throughout my body,
I feel alive.
When my eyes open
all I see is a dark and horrid abyss.
I try to close my eyes again,
to go back to the happiness
but my pain won’t let me.
My heart stops beating
all together and my blood
becomes cold.
Painful memories of the past
come to haunt me
as locusts raid a village.
Each and every one stabbing me
with my regret.
They remind me
of the shame I feel,
the same that consumes me
in the form of tears
and hate and anger.
My head falls back
and gives into this torment.
And finally,
my eyes can close again,
but I am no longer able
to dream.
I can only see this bittersweet reality
I am living in.