Weakness of the everlasting moment

February 13, 2010
The time till the dawn
Is slowly being lost
The things that I've counted on
Have lost all of their cost.

The body is going further
The soul is getting dragged along
I carry my burden
Wondering where did I go wrong.

There is no point in talking
It will make things worse
I just keep on walking
Through these dark doors.

I faked my situation
It seemed like I was well
I took extra caution
So that noone could tell.

Here I am
Helplessly standing in front of my fears
No - one gives a damn
About my neverending inner tears.

This was the moment
That I had to embrace
The feelings of joy
Were lost without a trace.

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This article has 6 comments. Post your own now!

Jandee said...
Aug. 26, 2010 at 6:59 pm
As I said on your other poem, I am not a big fan of rhyming poems. I would love to see you write some free verse non-rhyming poems.
gracegirl29 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 26, 2010 at 3:33 pm
this is great except for maybe some rhymes and rhythms that didn't sound as poetic as they could have. I really liked it and please check out my poem, "The Window to the Right" thanks:)
Laughternchoclate said...
Feb. 20, 2010 at 9:05 am
Some of the rhymes were off, but this is very good.
*Jade* replied...
Feb. 20, 2010 at 8:44 pm
i like theres a scence of uniqueness to it the ryming could use work but overall really good ^^
xtwilightx95 replied...
Feb. 21, 2010 at 3:57 pm
Yes, some of the rhymes could be improved. But I like the concept of it and your choices of words.
EmoAnon replied...
Aug. 25, 2010 at 8:44 am
I liked it. It told your true feelings on the insede. As they said the rhyme can use work but it is wonderful as is. 3 / 5
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