Breathless from my worthlessness
Itchy, from the marks I’ve done
It’s no longer fun; it’s just a chore
What a bore
I feel dirty, too damn flirty
Do I have any curtacy?
After all of this
At the thought of a hug, I’ll hiss
Knowing that I really do miss
My childhood
I hate food
I no longer should
Eat, so in the end, it’ll be my defeat
Wasting away, no more living to see the next day
I feel so ashamed
As if I’ll never recover, never to be tamed
From all these lies and games
I can barely remember your name
From all the huffing
And stuffing
These memories down
I walk downtown
Wandering and pondering
This life, in which I messed up so bad
I was once a survivor
Who was to be forever?
In recovery
This discovery
That I won’t make it
Makes me want to lash out even more
As I pour
More blood
I hear the thud
Of you yet again walking into the room
You zoom
In on the scissors
I got so many blisters
From not letting go
Did you know?
That night, I was so scared
Even though the tearing
Had calmed me down
I frown at these scars
It’s so hard
To live this way
This hate
For my scars
These horrors
Of my final breath
In haste
A quick taste
Of the burning of the booze
I had to choose
Even though I’ll lose
Against this abuse
Of alcohol
I feel so little, far from tall
And brave
Just watch my shut down and cave
In