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You ask for many things: Compassion, Understanding, Communication;
All of which could be given at a moment’s notice,
But not in between sessions of Jon & Kate.
As I struggle to explain why I choose this introverted lifestyle,
I find myself in a screaming match with Dr. Phil;
You say you’re frustrated with my indecisiveness - maybe the TV feels the same way;
You can’t seem to decide which court room show to waste your nights with.
You know what I can’t decide - Heidi or Spencer.
Which one would I rather see given a free one-way ticket to the moon?
Better question: which “celebrity” would I rather see scrapping the bird crap off my car?
So many questions, yet no one can give me an answer;
Perhaps their minds have been reduced to cottage cheese after an entire summer of Big Brother;
Maybe they weren’t suited to answer those questions in the first place.
Paris Hilton needs a new BFF? No, she needs a paycheck;
No, I’m afraid I won’t be giving her the luxury of my ratings;
The last thing I need is The Freak of Last Week cramping my style;
“No, I’m sorry Hilton, you can’t sue the boy who ‘*@#!ed up’ your Starbucks latte.”
I ask myself a rhetorical question now:
“Why do producers do it; are they in it for the money or -”
And I stop right there. What a silly question, Kyle, of course they do.
Why else would they feel the need to give reality shows right after sex tape infamy?
“Industry Rule No. 1180: TV Producers are shady…” (I paraphrase, of course.)
Next time you want to talk, please consider these suggestions:
Turn off the TV;
Join me in the other room;
Don’t talk to me about what we don’t have;
Talk about the story behind the headlines instead of just the headlines themselves;
Think outside the Idiot Box.
But, then again, what do I know?
After all, I am just a kid, right?