People tell me that I`m fat. That I`m ugly. And that I`m not worth it. And it is not just my peers that say those things to me. It is my own family. My father left me when I was young, but I remember it like it was yesterday. The only man that I trusted in my life betrayed me, and he hurt me. He hurt me in a way that I am still recovering from today. And I never really had a sister to turn to for anything. My problems with boys, or even with my fears on life. And here recently I lost a very close friend of mine. He was like a brother to me. We did something stupid, and his friends teased him for it. And he left me. But from all of that I have learned that God does everything for a reason. He said that everything in life that he gives us, he knows we have the faith and the strength to overcome it. Jesus is a huge part of my life. When I lost that friend of mine because a a stupid decision that I knew i shouln`t have made, I looked into drugs. And not only was it the drugs, it was the drinking, and the partying. I had completely lost sight of what really mattered in life. Jesus. I had stopped going to church, I stopped reading my bible. I had forgoton what it was like to actually feel something. But when i realized that my life was nothing but a blob of nothing, I changed. I rededicated my life and I found God. He came into my life and he showed me the way to live. The right way. His way. After I found him, I apologized to everyone I hurt in the time that I was lost. And I changed my ways forever.
January 18, 2012