What Happens at North Pine

April 14, 2013
By KatieLatieAtie98, Brookfield, Wisconsin
KatieLatieAtie98, Brookfield, Wisconsin
0 articles 0 photos 0 comments

Summary:

I brushed through my light brown hair and added a little eyeliner to my emerald green eyes. After I quickly adjusted my outfit, I ran down the stairs straight to the front door. But to my surprise, I saw a giant wolf outside on my porch with its legs crouched and ready to pounce.

I was staring into the greyish-blue eyes of a very light colored wolf. He –I think it was a he– lifted his lips up to reveal a very large set of pointed teeth. I saw he hind leg muscles tighten up, as if he was about to spring at me.

I tried to close the door but I wasn’t fast enough at it. The wolf already had me pinned to the ground with his teeth bared and about to strike at any second. He had me pinned for what seemed like minutes and I didn’t think he was going to strike.

But then I felt a strong stinging pain in my arm and I felt a scream begin at the base of my throat. I felt the blood pouring out and it was seeping into my black t-shirt. I was having trouble seeing, but I was fairly certain the wolf left.


AnonymouslyCreative99

What Happens at North Pine


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Lanimal SILVER said...
on Jan. 13 2014 at 1:21 am
Lanimal SILVER, Thornton, Colorado
7 articles 0 photos 43 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It is not the mountain we conquer, but ourselves."
-Edmund Hillary

Hi! I saw your comment about wanting feedback in the chatroom, so here I am! :) This is a great read! I like the flow and the dialogue. The only thing I would suggest is adding more detail (show, not tell!) and getting rid of some I's and was's, if that makes sense. For example, instead of saying "I knew exactly what it was from but I couldn't get the words to come out of my mouth," you could say, "The words lingered on my tongue, refusing to escape out of my mouth," or something like that. Just a suggestion! Keep it up, though, I like this story! :)


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