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Sarah D.
Summary: "We sprinted down the smooth black road and through the muddy trail in the woods, staining our bare feet as we went. The leaves fell softly, getting tangled in our hair and crumbling between our toes. If you thought unstoppable was unreachable think again, for then you didn’t see us."

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This book has 5 comments. Post your own now!

Allicat001 said...
Sept. 7, 2012 at 4:49 pm
This is really good, and the imagery you worked into this piece was great!  There were a few grammatical mistakes, but nothing major.  Great job!
Pretentious Pickle said...
Sept. 6, 2012 at 10:06 pm
I liked it a lot. I did have one problem, though. The transition between feeling no love and liking Sean was pretty quick. I thought all along she would go for Ryan. If you could throw some more comments or thoughts about Sean earlier than in that one spot, I would like it even more. Maybe you could give a whole chapter about her internal conflict about asking Sean out, which is resolved by Sean texting her first. Fix some of the grammar, and you can go higher. Keep writing! By the way, I'm ... (more »)
Queen_Of_Fiction said...
Sept. 4, 2012 at 6:40 pm
Okay, so the first thing I noticed is that you didn't capitalize the first words in people's dialogue. I know that sometimes it isn't necessary, but, the times where it was necessary, you didn't do it. That really will distract a reader sometimes because they'll be so focused on what's wrong.   However, I myself found  Everleigh to be a very relatable character. I know what it's like to watch friends change before your very eyes. I... (more »)
leaves This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Sept. 6, 2012 at 7:20 pm
It's funny- I went back and tried to edit as much as I could and completely skipped editing the dialogue! Anyways, your feedback really helped. Thanks a lot! 
leaves This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Sept. 1, 2012 at 9:07 am
Author's note: I wrote this novelette during 7th grade so I am aware that there are some some grammar mistakes. Also, some may seem a little skeptical of having such a strong relationship in the first year of middleschool which is usually 5th or 6th grade. To address those skeptics: 1. In my town, middle school is only 7th and 8th grade so I made the school in my novelette the same 2. The kids in "Leaves" had to grow up fast for reasons that you may read in a later chapter. It is unfortunate for... (more »)

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