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Our Deepest Fear

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Natasha H.
Our Deepest Fear
Summary: When Micaela enters Crescent Middle School as a new student mid-year, she hopes she'll make some amazing friends, but she soon realizes that some kids don't accept her for who she is--Mexican. Her peers, especially Brandy, are always making fun of her and Selena--another Mexican girl-- in class. But when Micaela finds out what's going on with Brandy outside the classroom, she's shocked. Soon, everything is going to change.

Tags: family




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This book has 10 comments. Post your own!

Dancing2222 said...
Jun. 10, 2011 at 5:02 pm:
This is weird. I go to Crescent Middle School! Stop stalking me! Haha jk funny coincidence:)
 
Amor-Y-Palabras replied...
Jun. 10, 2011 at 11:08 pm :
omg that is weird! i totally just made up that name, didn't know it was really a school. haha wow!
 
Dancing2222 replied...
Jun. 14, 2011 at 11:30 pm :
Ya. Now that I think about it I probably shouldn't have mentioned where I go to school. Oh well! Too late now!
 
Amor-Y-Palabras replied...
Jun. 15, 2011 at 2:58 pm :
haha its ok.  im not a stalker!  but i can delete the comment if you want..
 
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Medina D. said...
May 8, 2011 at 7:00 pm:

Hi Natasha :) yes i read all 8 chapters of your novel. i liked your choice of names very much and this story really shares the message you're trying to spread-----but it might be too short to be a novel. It WOULD make a GREAT short story though (and those are just as good as novels!!) Also the pace of this story was too fast for me, i barely recognized time passing by. You should do something about that. In the books i read, the words go like this

(scene in the afternoon)

******... (more »)

 
Amor-Y-Palabras replied...
May 8, 2011 at 7:39 pm :

Thanks so much for reading the whole thing! I know that must have taken a while!

Yeah, I've noticed everyone is saying it was rushed.  See, when I first submitted this to Teenkink, it was a short story, but they said I either had to make it longer or shorter.  I couldn't really find a way to condense it, so I expanded it.  Maybe I shouldn't have done that...

Thanks again though!  What work of yours do you want me to check out?  I owe you!

 

 
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Natasha101 said...
Apr. 29, 2011 at 12:25 pm:
Thanks!  Can you give me example of when you can't tell who's saying what?  I'll try to fix that.  And sorry I haven't been on in so long, I'm gonna go check out your story right now :)
 
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Natasha101 said...
Apr. 29, 2011 at 12:23 pm:
Yeah, when I first submitted it, TEEN INK didn't except it because it was only 800 words.  So, I made it longer (and more complex).
 
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Timekeeper This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 27, 2011 at 2:10 pm:

The chapters became increasingly shorter, and the dialogue could use some more details. There's a lot of "replied" and "said" in there, and like AddictedtoWriting said it would be easy to go back and make some word choice changes and fix up some of the grammar.

But as far as the content goes, I liked it. It wasn't overly complex, but it didn't need to be.  You knew what story you wanted to tell, and you did it.

Please check out my novel SuperNOVA on the front page of the no... (more »)

 
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AddictedToWriting said...
Apr. 26, 2011 at 11:01 pm:

Hmmm...this was a little rushed.  I had a hard time keeping track of who was saying what and when.

I also found the switch to detention far too jumpy.  If nothing else, you NEED to have a scene break.

Brandy's slip about her mom was also a little too...easy.  If she truly had issues, she would not be slipping that easily.

 

Um...that's about it.  Reguardless of all the critiques this comment is full of, I like your writing style.  Good... (more »)

 
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