Stuck in the Past

October 16, 2011
By JillianNora SILVER, Forest Park, Illinois
JillianNora SILVER, Forest Park, Illinois
8 articles 2 photos 46 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Do not let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity." -1 Timothy 4:12


Summary:

Zoanna Blaine Teele is your everyday, ultra popular, supermodel-gorgeous sophomore in high school living in the 31st century. She counts on only three things in the world: Looks, money and fame.
One day, she is suddenly betrayed and stripped violently of those very things that make her who she is. Now, she is forced into participating in a mysterious Urgent Call Program that goes desperately wrong. Will Zoe complete her mission in time and discover herself along the way? Or will she be trapped in the Program…forever?

Vena Richards is one of the few students at TechBurrow High living off a full scholarship. Her plan: get through school without being noticed. Her strategy suddenly backfires when her path is crossed by the all-powerful Zoanna Teele, making Vena’s life miserable. Then, Zoe suddenly goes missing after being Called into one of the schools’ top-secret Programs. When Vena finds out vital information that could save Zoe, will she help? Or will she go along with the rest of the school and be glad Zoanna is gone?


Jillian H.

Stuck in the Past


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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This book has 13 comments.


on Dec. 24 2012 at 9:57 am
_Kristen_ BRONZE, St. Louis, Missouri
4 articles 0 photos 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Crying? Nah. Lift you head up, princess. Your tiara is falling off."

WHERE IS THE REST???? I'm sitting there, reading, and then, right when a awesome new concept is introduced, nothing!!! You have to continue writing this! I read all 7 chapters, and don't want that to have been wasted! Seriously though- You have a gift with words. This should be a novel. I would buy it. This should be published, cuz it's so amazing.

on Nov. 15 2011 at 8:39 pm
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1648 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." --Douglas Adams

"The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane." --Marcus Aurelius

(Sorry it took me a long time to get back to you on the feedback for feedback thing.)

Okay, I have a bit of criticism.

1.  People can get that Zoanna is spoiled without you having to beat them over the head about it.  Trust in your readers; from the way she acts around her father, they'll get the point.

2.  Paragraph more often.  Huge chunks of writing cause readers to skip over your paragraphs, so try to make them a bit shorter.

 

That's about it, actually!  I like the style of your writing and would be interested to see where this is going.  Excellent work! :)


Mystiecub said...
on Nov. 6 2011 at 5:59 pm

DUDE

WHERE. IS. THE. REST?

Seriously, this is REALLY good! I'm dying to know what happens next! :D!


on Oct. 28 2011 at 5:06 pm
JillianNora SILVER, Forest Park, Illinois
8 articles 2 photos 46 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Do not let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity." -1 Timothy 4:12

Thank you:) I'm glad you like it

on Oct. 28 2011 at 5:32 am
Garnet77 PLATINUM, Sinagpore, Other
31 articles 6 photos 578 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Everything's a triangle." ~ My mother

"Write what you love, write what you care about, because sometimes, it's the easiest way to be heard."

I only had time to read the first chapter, but I really like this story. I love the sci-fi feel to it with all the gadgets, and the voice of the character is very appropriate. Great job. If I have time later, I'll finish the rest. :)

on Oct. 27 2011 at 11:25 pm
JillianNora SILVER, Forest Park, Illinois
8 articles 2 photos 46 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Do not let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity." -1 Timothy 4:12

Thanks for reading:) And I'll post more as soon as I can!

on Oct. 27 2011 at 11:25 pm
JillianNora SILVER, Forest Park, Illinois
8 articles 2 photos 46 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Do not let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity." -1 Timothy 4:12

Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it:)

on Oct. 27 2011 at 10:45 pm
RayBaytheDinosaur GOLD, Hampton, South Carolina
18 articles 17 photos 159 comments

Favorite Quote:
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder

This is a pretty awesome work! Keep writing more I'd love to read it =D

on Oct. 27 2011 at 2:53 pm
ThePhoenixRising BRONZE, Macomb, Michigan
4 articles 3 photos 15 comments

Favorite Quote:
It’s not that I’m so smart, it’s just that I stay with problems longer.
—Albert Einstein
Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
—Albert Einstein
I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.
—Bill Cosby
Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum sonatur. (Whatever is said in Latin sounds profound.)
—Unknown Author
Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.
—Pablo Picasso

A great novel overall! I really liked the language of the book. Nicely done!

on Oct. 26 2011 at 11:05 pm
JillianNora SILVER, Forest Park, Illinois
8 articles 2 photos 46 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Do not let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity." -1 Timothy 4:12

Thank you so much! That really means a lot. I'll keep uploading chapters as quickly as I can write them:)

on Oct. 26 2011 at 5:05 pm
milforce SILVER, Bloomington, Illinois
9 articles 0 photos 135 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Those who have the ability to act, have the responsibility to act."

Oh my God, you have to write more or your gonna kill me! I love this, it's amazing! You really do a great job of portraying personalities, especially Zoe's. Awesome job!

on Oct. 25 2011 at 10:22 pm
JillianNora SILVER, Forest Park, Illinois
8 articles 2 photos 46 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Do not let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity." -1 Timothy 4:12

Thanks so much! I'm glad you enjoyed reading it aas much as Ienjoyed writing it:)

on Oct. 25 2011 at 6:36 pm
applesauceHater SILVER, Nikolaevsk, Alaska
8 articles 0 photos 124 comments
oooh i luv it!!! hope you write more. I didn t stop reading from sentence one. I loved the future part with all the col technology. Kinda hope we do have that in the future!:)I say this to people who have it=u got good sentence fluency and grammer! i've read some that don't so yeah=)you write really well and i hope you continue with it.




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