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The Silver Suit

The Silver Suit
Summary: Enter a world so different, yet in some ways so alike, our world. Enter the gaming world of BlueCrimson, the hottest game around the world. For the first two years people played this game with a passion, not knowing the rising evil within it. Premium Users were actually able to enter this virtual world and play freely. Until three years ago, after its second anniversary the game took over. Using information it got from the internet surrounding it, it found a way to override the exiting ability of anything in the game, and started its own government. The FIA, a secret government branch, a mix of the FBI and the CIA is on the case. They have planted an agent in the game. Asher, or Zeeb as his username, has been ratted out and now must find a new person to become the next Silver Suit legend so he can escape the game before he is killed. He finds Ike, and gives him the Sliver body armor Suit. But before he can explain what needs to be done the FIA pulls him out of the game. Now Ike, though unsure if he even wants the job, and his growing band of fugitives must figure out what they can and must do to over through the GG, Game Government, while on the run and braking out any Innocents, prisons of the GG who would be innocent on the Outside, and decode and unravel the few messages that the FIA are able to get to them. Will Ike discover and accept his new job and identity? Will the GG catch them? Will they be able to save the Innocents that will die if left there? Will they be able to finally over through the GG? But most importantly: Will they ever get home again?

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This book has 6 comments. Post your own now!

MidnightFire said...
Aug. 4, 2011 at 7:57 pm

TeenInk seems to be having problems, DinoNugget and CarrieAnn13 both of your posts seem to have been posted twice in the same comment. weird.


StrangeJade: Could you elaberate a bit on the 'telling-not-showing' plz


DinoNugget: the first part on your description for the proluge confused me abit, I've never seen the Matrix before, and I'm not sure how to describe the suits. I'll look up a good picture of them and hopfully... (more »)

CarrieAnn13 said...
Aug. 4, 2011 at 7:17 pm

In the format of DinoNugget, here's a chapter-to-chapter breakdown.

Prologue: Interesting, but kind of confusing.  Maybe you could try leaving out all those proper nouns until you have time to explain them later.

Chapter 1: This sounds a lot like the Matrix.  But whatever, it's interesting.  Just a few minor spelling and grammar errors.

Chapter 2: Too many proper nouns again.  Do you really need so many characters?  It can be hard to keep all the ... (more »)

billgamesh11 replied...
Aug. 24, 2011 at 9:28 am
Im sorry I hadnt gotten around to reading this until now, but I'm kinda glad I did. There's a few grammatical errors and I agree with CarrieAnn13, you have too many characters and it got really hard to keep up with them all. But it was a cool idea, so keep the creativity flowing and don't stop writing! :):):);)
MidnightFire replied...
Aug. 24, 2011 at 8:48 pm
Thanks :) glad you liked it.  I'll work on the issues at hand
DinoNugget said...
Aug. 4, 2011 at 4:56 pm

Here's a little chapter-to-chapter breakdown.


Prologue - her was crazy, and right afterwards to needs become too.  Watch your homophones.


Chapter 1 - It kinda sounded like the Matrix to me a little.  Nothing else grammatically wrong in this chapter.


Chapter 2 - Do you think you can include a description of the armor somewhere?  I'm curious as to what it looks like.  And ther are a few spelling error... (more »)

StrangeJade This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 4, 2011 at 4:50 pm
Ooh! Cool! :) An intriguing start. You do have a bit of a habit of telling-not-showing sometimes, but the unadorned style suits the story well. Good job! I'm excited to see what happens next.

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