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Father Figure

Horsebackrider21225
Father Figure
Summary: Jonathan Fitzpatrick is like any normal guy. He loves sports, his family, and hates stereotypes. He's got lots of friends, and a nice house close to the nation's capital. It would seem like the safest place to be in a world that seems so dangerous, however that stereotype couldn't be anymore wrong.

Jonathan works for the FBI. He's high up in a secretive branch that fights organized crime in America. Being a former field agent it would seem like he's seen it all, however after twenty years of administration work, things have changed.

When Jonathan's only family, his wife Macy and his daughter Leila disappear off the streets, Jonathan makes it his personal mission to find them. Dropping everything he goes on a desperate hunt that could take him years, only leaving him dry in the end. Then aided by his Mafia hunted partner Biff, and Dustin a girl who's been arrested so many times, that's how she knows that's what she wants to do in life, he knows the odds are against him. However that's no reason, for him at least, to give up.

Tags: family




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This book has 8 comments. Post your own now!

juggaloscrub said...
Oct. 9, 2011 at 11:08 am

I read the first three chapters and love it. the whole time i've been reading i've been seeing it in my head as a movie. i'll come back to finish it later

 

 
CautionwetPaint replied...
Oct. 9, 2011 at 11:48 am
Thank you! :D 
 
Steph0804 said...
Oct. 6, 2011 at 12:03 pm
I've only read the prologue, but I really like it! Unfortunately, you seem to constantly switch between past and present tense...
 
Steph0804 replied...
Oct. 6, 2011 at 12:10 pm
Hm... well, it kind of sounds like you're having mood swings while writing this. At first the voice is a bit formal and less personal. Then you get all these apostrophes and first/second person ("Don't get me wrong..." "That's when the rumbling...") the phrase "That's when..." doesn't seem to fit, because so far you've been writing without apostraphes ("he has" instead of "he's", etc.)
 
CautionwetPaint replied...
Oct. 6, 2011 at 2:17 pm
Wow, I did not notice that! But your absolutely right! When I wrote this I just wrote one copy then skimmed it for spelling errors ect. but now I think that it really doesn't help unless I look at it closer. Being that I am gramatically impared doesn't help either XD But thanks so much! I'll remember that for the stories I write in the future. 
 
Steph0804 said...
Oct. 6, 2011 at 12:03 pm
I've only read the prologue, but I really like it! Unfortunately, you seem to constantly switch between past and present tense...
 
Unsent_Letters said...
Oct. 6, 2011 at 10:11 am
I haven't read all of it, but I really like what I've gotten through so far. The only thing that confused me a bit was that, when the flood was coming, it seemed like you were switching between Johnathan and a thir-person point of view. Otherwise, it's really captivating. I can't wait to finish reading it!
 
CautionwetPaint replied...
Oct. 6, 2011 at 2:21 pm
I noticed that too, and to be totally honest I don't know why I do that. Maybe I just switch back and forth without even realizing it . . I don't know. But anyway i am really glad u like it, and thanks for reading it! :)
 

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