Father Figure

June 9, 2011
By SpringAhead GOLD, Phoenixville, Pennsylvania
SpringAhead GOLD, Phoenixville, Pennsylvania
12 articles 0 photos 99 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Don't call me crazy, it drives me nuts!"








~Anonymous


Summary:

Jonathan Fitzpatrick is like any normal guy. He loves sports, his family, and hates stereotypes. He's got lots of friends, and a nice house close to the nation's capital. It would seem like the safest place to be in a world that seems so dangerous, however that stereotype couldn't be anymore wrong.

Jonathan works for the FBI. He's high up in a secretive branch that fights organized crime in America. Being a former field agent it would seem like he's seen it all, however after twenty years of administration work, things have changed.

When Jonathan's only family, his wife Macy and his daughter Leila disappear off the streets, Jonathan makes it his personal mission to find them. Dropping everything he goes on a desperate hunt that could take him years, only leaving him dry in the end. Then aided by his Mafia hunted partner Biff, and Dustin a girl who's been arrested so many times, that's how she knows that's what she wants to do in life, he knows the odds are against him. However that's no reason, for him at least, to give up.

Tags: Family


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Father Figure


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This book has 8 comments.


on Oct. 9 2011 at 11:48 am
SpringAhead GOLD, Phoenixville, Pennsylvania
12 articles 0 photos 99 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Don't call me crazy, it drives me nuts!"








~Anonymous

Thank you! :D 

on Oct. 9 2011 at 11:08 am
juggaloscrub BRONZE, Brockton, Massachusetts
4 articles 0 photos 6 comments

I read the first three chapters and love it. the whole time i've been reading i've been seeing it in my head as a movie. i'll come back to finish it later

 


on Oct. 6 2011 at 2:21 pm
SpringAhead GOLD, Phoenixville, Pennsylvania
12 articles 0 photos 99 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Don't call me crazy, it drives me nuts!"








~Anonymous

I noticed that too, and to be totally honest I don't know why I do that. Maybe I just switch back and forth without even realizing it . . I don't know. But anyway i am really glad u like it, and thanks for reading it! :)

on Oct. 6 2011 at 2:17 pm
SpringAhead GOLD, Phoenixville, Pennsylvania
12 articles 0 photos 99 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Don't call me crazy, it drives me nuts!"








~Anonymous

Wow, I did not notice that! But your absolutely right! When I wrote this I just wrote one copy then skimmed it for spelling errors ect. but now I think that it really doesn't help unless I look at it closer. Being that I am gramatically impared doesn't help either XD But thanks so much! I'll remember that for the stories I write in the future. 

Steph0804 GOLD said...
on Oct. 6 2011 at 12:10 pm
Steph0804 GOLD, Seoul, Other
12 articles 4 photos 206 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Explaining a joke is like dissecting a frog: you understand it better, but the frog dies in the process." -E.B. White

Hm... well, it kind of sounds like you're having mood swings while writing this. At first the voice is a bit formal and less personal. Then you get all these apostrophes and first/second person ("Don't get me wrong..." "That's when the rumbling...") the phrase "That's when..." doesn't seem to fit, because so far you've been writing without apostraphes ("he has" instead of "he's", etc.)

Steph0804 GOLD said...
on Oct. 6 2011 at 12:03 pm
Steph0804 GOLD, Seoul, Other
12 articles 4 photos 206 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Explaining a joke is like dissecting a frog: you understand it better, but the frog dies in the process." -E.B. White

I've only read the prologue, but I really like it! Unfortunately, you seem to constantly switch between past and present tense...

Steph0804 GOLD said...
on Oct. 6 2011 at 12:03 pm
Steph0804 GOLD, Seoul, Other
12 articles 4 photos 206 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Explaining a joke is like dissecting a frog: you understand it better, but the frog dies in the process." -E.B. White

I've only read the prologue, but I really like it! Unfortunately, you seem to constantly switch between past and present tense...

on Oct. 6 2011 at 10:11 am
BrokenTogether GOLD, Saraland, Alabama
10 articles 0 photos 11 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love...and be loved in return..." -Christian, Moulin Rouge

I haven't read all of it, but I really like what I've gotten through so far. The only thing that confused me a bit was that, when the flood was coming, it seemed like you were switching between Johnathan and a thir-person point of view. Otherwise, it's really captivating. I can't wait to finish reading it!


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