Into the Lightening

July 18, 2014
By Lucy_Mikayla BRONZE, Lake Cargelligo, Other
Lucy_Mikayla BRONZE, Lake Cargelligo, Other
1 article 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I think there should be a rule that everyone in the world should get a standing ovation at least once in their lives." ~ Wonder, R.J Palacio


Summary:

Anna can't sleep. Everytime she closes her eyes she's tortured with contorted images of the night in the alley. She needs to get away, but where can she escape the nightmares? And with who?


Lucy C.

Into the Lightening


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This book has 4 comments.


on Aug. 31 2014 at 9:24 pm
Lucy_Mikayla BRONZE, Lake Cargelligo, Other
1 article 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I think there should be a rule that everyone in the world should get a standing ovation at least once in their lives." ~ Wonder, R.J Palacio

Thanks, I really appreciate it :)

on Aug. 21 2014 at 9:36 am
kingofwriters BRONZE, DeWitt, Michigan
1 article 0 photos 196 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Books are a uniquely portable magic." - Stephen King

I love books, and I love technology, but I don't want to see the latter overwhelm the former. I just think books are meant to be pages you turn, not screens you scroll through.

Yeah, I'll definitely look at your next piece! You're a really good writer! :)

on Aug. 21 2014 at 1:03 am
Lucy_Mikayla BRONZE, Lake Cargelligo, Other
1 article 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I think there should be a rule that everyone in the world should get a standing ovation at least once in their lives." ~ Wonder, R.J Palacio

Thanks so much for your feedback! I'm glad you enjoyed my piece, thanks for reading it. I've handed it in for marking but I'm still working on it and polishing it up for funsies, so hopefully it won't fell as rushed without a word limit or time limit to restrict my writing. Thanks again for the feedback, it's really helpful to get an unbiased opinion. I hope you get a chance to have a look at the next piece I put up :)

on Aug. 13 2014 at 5:42 pm
kingofwriters BRONZE, DeWitt, Michigan
1 article 0 photos 196 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Books are a uniquely portable magic." - Stephen King

I love books, and I love technology, but I don't want to see the latter overwhelm the former. I just think books are meant to be pages you turn, not screens you scroll through.

There are a lot of good and bad things I could say about your writing, but let me assure you that I thoroughly enjoyed reading this story and I definitely think that most of its flaws can be quite easily forgiven. There weren't a lot of issues with this story, but it did feel slightly rushed throughout, and because of that, there were occasional grammatical errors and awkwardly-written parts scattered throughout the piece. Just be sure to keep an eye out for mistakes like that when you're hurrying to finish a story, because they are very easy to miss.  I think the backstory with Cassidy was kind of hit-or-miss. I personally liked that it added depth to Anna's character, but it was weird at points to have its brutal realism contrasted against the fantastical world of Oros. Still, with that being said, I liked it either way.  Everything else was good. Anna and Loki were actually quite relatable characters in my opinion, and the description/imagery was vivid and absorbing even when it was rushed. If you're using this for an English project...it could definitely use some polishing, but I think that for the most part it's a very entertaining adventure and I know for a fact that I liked it a lot! I hope this feedback helps, and I hope that you weren't exhausted by how long my comment was... :P




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