Fluttered Knots | Teen Ink

Fluttered Knots

March 4, 2018
By Fire.Walk.With.Me BRONZE, Fenton, Michigan
Fire.Walk.With.Me BRONZE, Fenton, Michigan
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

It smells like it always does, like you. Like the room you have had for 13 years, but you’re so used to it at this point it doesn’t matter. It is much dimmer than usual, three of your lightbulbs are almost out and it messes with your eyes. While sitting on the familiar carpet, you are slowly being taken over by the room that is a physical representation of you.

You pull the lid off the box in front of you, revealing a fossil like preservation of time. A letter from the Czech Republic sits on top. Anne from a few months ago, she was travelling in France and going to concerts. Then three more from her, some contain Polish money or descriptions of places you would do anything to visit. Her letters show how much she cares, sealed with brightly colored tape and animal stickers. Her familiar delicate handwriting over the past year has worked its way into your memory.

The letters beneath those almost shock you when you see them again. The thought of this person is accompanied by a knot in your stomach. He moved away and you aren’t on good terms, but the letters remind you of a time that was full of understanding. Despite the circumstances, the inside jokes still make you smile. Seeing your name purposely spelled incorrectly was your favorite thing about them. You would exchange poems, scribbling them on the loose leaf paper. While taking a deep breath you put down the pile of letters.

Under those are some letters from an old friend in sophmore year. You guys didn’t do much talking during school, you let the letters speak for you. But he knew you so well, looking back he wrote about how he could tell when you were anxious without saying a word. His letters were full of encouragement about the future. These pieces of ripped notebook paper have preserved a specific time in your life.

Sometimes you try so hard to remember what you wrote back, what experiences were so significant to you at the time, and what pieces of you those people carry. You have made choices to share with people glimpses into your personality, held in places similar to your box. Reveling in the feeling that these papers give you, just like they always do.


The author's comments:

This piece is a personal essay about my letter box, it has been accumulating letters for over two years. The letters mentioned are only a few of the collection.


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