I wish you knew this feeling. This feeling that I have in my chest that is caused by your words. One minute it’s “ I want you and I miss you” and the next it’s “I can’t do this anymore.” You’ve changed way to much into someone who I don’t even recognize. You look like the person that I met that at the park. But you aren’t them. That person was sweet, loving and caring. I had begun to fall for the person who swore that they’d never leave and that they were in it for the long run. I had begun to fall for the person who cried with me when I was at my worst. And the more that I fell that harder I had made it for my self to get back up later on. I look at you now and I’m afraid. I see a monster. A person with no remorse for their actions. And is happy to see me that way that I am. You said you need more time. But I cant give it to you because I give up. Im tired of waiting for you. Now I FORCE myself to cry. FORCE myself to miss you. FORCE myself to try. For an US. Which I know will never happen again. You call me names and insult me and I just wish you knew how I feel. But I could never tell you this. Because of how afraid I am of you.
Where Have You Gone?
February 4, 2018