Throat Drop

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"Sometimes i hate this about myself" she said while they both walked on the very familiar road, one that once held non recurring feelings.


He kept walking waiting for her to complete the earlier statement, never forgetting that it's her thing to take time in choosing her words.


"That I don't give up. Sometimes it's tiring, sometimes it hurt. And i wish this was a classic novel so i can be as wise as the usual characters are and say it leads to great successes... Well,it leads to something for sure but it's not always rainbows and flowers."


"That's coming from the most positive person i've met.." he said looking at the ground while still walking, never looking at her, actually the thought of it never crossed his mind or at least that's what she thought.
"Well, it's the truth. I wish i can give up on you... give up on us, because it's clear as crystal that you did but i just don't. and the fact that I don't catalyze your idea that it won't work out, that you shouldn't give it a shot cause it's... meaningless. why to waste time on something that is not meant to be, cause the idea of 'it's not meant to be' is carefully painfully sculptured in your head." She just shooted all the words she managed to speak out load cause deep in her mind it was complete chaos.


He stayed silent as if agreeing or just comprehending her words.


"And don't you dare say that what i'm saying is right, or all your thoughts are just right and for the best."

"But whenever i follow my mind am never wrong and-"
She cut him off "Being too smart leads to stupidity"
"Oh... well am not sure that's a true fact but... i was going to say and my heart's saying that it's enough and it won't work"
"Oh really? Your heart? I.. i-i...i" she was furious stuttering trying hard to hold back the sea of tears that was going to explode
"You are a liar" she said in a weird voice tone, not shouting, not whispering, maybe a mixture of both. She wanted to believe her words and not believe his so bad . She wanted him to follow her and say that he's not sure of what he's saying but he's just saying it because he's stupid... that he won't give up as her.

"See... see why not giving up hurts? And still I won't give up, even if you called every day saying those freaky words you said. I just won't give up. How pathetic... how insane."

He looked at her.. and a strange emotion crossed his eyes, one she've never seen before.
"You're not pathetic"

"It's like talking to a dead soul idk why am writing this while crying"
"Maybe because those thoughts were screaming in your head to get out?"
"Maybe... and maybe because i just want to hold you still and scream them out in ur face"
"Aren't you doing that now? You're even getting the answers right"
"Because perhaps then I would get them wrong... tell me for sure, are they right? Or please are they wrong? And the fact that you won't tell hurts to the bone. Why don't you master some courage up and say it all?"

And I won't write out his answers cause i really don't wanna be right.






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