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My 8th Grade Love Life

So there is that really common saying that a crush lasts 4 months and if it’s over that, then you’re in love. That particular saying scares the living crap out of me. This is because ever since about the sixth grade, which was two years ago, I have apparently been “in love” with Mason. I need to be more mature than this, I am an eighth grade woman who can’t be wasting her time with dumb little “puppy-love” crushes that should have stayed in elementary school. But of course, I can’t help it. There is just this unknown force that draws me to him, that makes me want to get his attention so he might give me a little recognition with a few words. The big problem is that this force will not leave me alone. It’s like whenever I see him, my body takes over my brain and all I want is to see him look at me, even if for a small second, and maybe even talk to me, so then I’ll uncover if he knows I live on this planet too. It’s got to be that hair, that perfect blond hair that sweeps across his face. That’s the force. I mean, what else could it be? And it wouldn’t surprise me either, I bet Shaq would go gay for just the little chance to feel that soft mane for just a couple seconds. It’s so powerful, especially when paired with a light blue button-up. Oh my, the day he wore that shirt, I swear I would have attacked him if I had no self control. Luckily I do, he would’ve been attacked by now if I didn’t.

My extreme attraction towards Mason, although humorous at times, has its very dark side. It’s just so painful having it never go away. He isn’t in my circle of friends, I’ve barely ever talked to him for more than a few seconds, and, like I’ve said before, he barely knows I’m here. I need to stop loving him, and I know that way too well. But I can’t control it at all, this obsession just happens. In fact, the one time I’ve seen a shooting star in my life, I wished for him to like me. I’ve told myself so many times that if I feel this much towards him, there’s no possible way he can’t feel anything back. But, I loyally follow the belief that anything is possible. So he pretty much will never like me back, even if I actually get the guts to put an effort into gaining a relationship with him. It won’t happen. My mind knows that, my body does not, so it remains attracted to him, even though I try so hard to tell it not to.

Well, today something happened. After school, I went to wait for my friend to get out of her class. It just so happens that Mason was in this same class. He exited first, and as always, the moment I saw him my palms were drenched in sweat and my stomach was, well you know, producing flying insects. I discretely watched him for a few seconds and I saw a blond girl rush up to him, wrap her arms around his neck, and give him a big kiss. He has a new girlfriend. My hands went dry and all those little insects died. The sky, although bright and sunny, seemed to darken a little bit. My friend finally came out and I had to hide my depression as we walked to the bus stop. I couldn’t believe it. I had absolutely lost my chance at any kind of relationship with him and some other girl stepped up to the plate right when she saw I dropped the bat. My heart was broken for the first time today, so I guess I really am in love with him. Unfortunately, there’s nothing I can do about that.

The End





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