Senior Year

May 16, 2012
By , missouri city, TX
I’m sitting at my desk in my new house that I have lived in for only about two years now writing about the past year. It’s ridiculous how fast my high school life had passed me by. It felt like yesterday that I was walking through the doors in the new band building at Clements for marching band practice on August 1, 2008. So here I am, and at this point in time I’m the best me that I can be. This is the year that I finally found who I am; I learned to forgive my past, live the present to the fullest, and have high hopes and goals for my future. I’m graduating in no less than two months now and I can’t wait to leave.

It is senior year, and I walked through the doors of my new high school in August for my last year of marching band. The school runs everything differently than Clements of course, and I was dreading the process of being a freshman in marching band again. I was treated like a fish because I knew nothing and had no say in anything. I had to restart my high school life all over again this year thanks to my transfer. Marching band was okay, it was odd seeing how not uniform everyone was compared to Clements. At Clements we were required to wear white shirts during practice and shorts, at my new school they didn’t care what you wore. And the discipline was not as strict as it was at Clements making me lazy during marching season. There was not as much running as we did at Clements either, I remember taking laps every time someone messed up, or when we were mediocre in Mr. G’s eyes. I never had to run a lap this season due to the easy going band. I went from having new marching and concert uniforms my freshman year at Clements, to having the last year of my new school's marching and concert uniforms. It was a weird feeling going through two schools that were almost opposites in so many ways. It took many days adjusting to having no friends, when at Clements I was saying “hi” to someone every time I turned a corner. In marching band this year, football games were a lot more loose and “fun”, I couldn’t handle all the freedom we got in this band. My goals for band this year were to be section leader, band president, and band sweet heart at Clements. Of course, none of that could be attained at my new school; however, I was runner up for band sweet heart at my new school for some odd reason. There was also another thing that made a difference in my band experience, it was joining loading crew. I was supposed to be in loading crew at Clements, because my friend was in charge of loading crew, but at my new school I was nothing and no one knew I was supposed to be in loading crew. However, one day I got instated into loading crew thanks to my section leader being co-leader in loading crew. Loading crew taught me to man up, it also showed people to stop messing with me and to see me as not just the “cute tiny Asian girl, but a girl that can take care of herself, yet people still messed with me… But overall, my band experience has been tainted by the unfortunate change that happened when I moved schools. It’s too difficult for me to adapt to the new school, and thanks to think factor, I’ve hated band ever since I took my first step in the band hall. Overall, my whole band experience was terrible, expect for my loading crew experience and band banquet experiences.

Another odd thing that I noticed was that the school looks exactly the same in all four corner of the school. It took me about three weeks to know where I was going throughout the school. There was also a huge problem with my schedule during the first nine weeks of my senior year… Everything on my schedule was incorrect, all seven classes. It took the councilors about two weeks to talk to me and when I walked into one of their offices; the first thing they said to me was “why didn’t you come earlier?” It frustrated me so much because I kept trying to explain to the councilors that that was my situation in the first place, and I had emailed them that summer to make sure they knew that I was transferring and which classes I wanted specifically. Once I got into the classes that I had wished to be in, things went smoother and I started to be able to adapt to the new environment. At my new school the AP classes are much more difficult than they were at Clements, and there was a lot more work to do at my new school. My most difficult classes were AP English IV and AP Environmental Science. Things were worse at this school because I had no friends, and no one to sit at lunch with, or to ask for help on homework. Every time I struggled in something, I would struggle alone, because every time I asked someone to help me they wouldn’t want to or would be annoyed to help me. So I’ve been on my own since the beginning of this year and I’m still on my own for most activities.

One thing that I have learn throughout this experience is that people are not who you think they are. One major thing that I have discovered when I moved was that my friends were not there for me. No one had time for me anymore and no one wanted to hang out with me anymore, and it was as if I had disappeared from their world. I finally knew who my true friends were and who my fake ones had been. My friends have left me to be alone in this new school and didn’t care about me anymore because it was not to their convenience as it was before. Anytime my “friends” were to talk to me was for a favor, otherwise they would say that they had to go eat dinner and disappear for another month or two until they were to ask me for another favor. I finally understood the lessons that my mother have been trying to tell me when I was younger, about people taking advantage of me and not being my true friends; I did not believe her until I got to see it for my own eyes and I faded in the distance when I left for a new school. I was crushed by this experience, but on the bright side I was happy that I finally understood the true feelings of people, instead of living in a bubble and not knowing who my real friends are. People that would go out of their way for you and be there for you anytime that you need them are your true friends.

Struggling through senior year with no friends was bad enough, but I didn’t get to do the things I wanted to. I won’t be able to go to MY prom at Clements as a Clements student, I didn’t perform for iFest or ACES at lunch, I didn’t get to go to Homecoming or the Clements band banquet, and I won’t be in the senior pictures or the year book this year. It is hard not being able to do the things that you had planned to all of your high school life. I still have regrets of not being able to accomplish everything that I wanted to in my other high school, but moving on is the only thing you can do. I learned to move on and accept the things that are given to you in your life, like the saying says “when life gives you lemons, make lemonade,” I’m just stressed with my recipe I guess.

Another struggle that I have gone through this year is my own health. When I was about in eighth grade my doctor told me I had something called patella femoral syndrome, which meant that my knee cap and the bone in my knee grinds on each other and causes inflammation and irritation to me when I bend it in any way or keep it straight for too long. Over the years it progressively got worst and worst and I wasn’t supposed to be dancing or snowboarding or skateboarding or anything, but I can’t help it, I just love doing those things so much. So I ignored my doctor’s orders and did as I pleased, stretching became my best friend and exercises for my knees aided me in the long run, with the occasional ice pack and pain medication. However, this year when I went to the doctors to take blood tests, they said I have a possibility of having rheumatoid arthritis; which my sister had when she was a child, and my mother and grandmother both have arthritis now. That seem to be the end of my world, I didn’t know what to think or do when they told me I had a high chance of getting it and I was to go see arthritis doctors. I cried myself to sleep a couple nights and I would always be sad when I saw my friends dancing. But when I went to my appointment they said I didn’t have it, but my mother had the same doctor who said she didn’t have it, and he was wrong; so I am scheduled to go see other doctors to see if I have arthritis or not to see if I need medication, but right now it’s still a mystery that haunts me. I had done the We Got Talent, Talent Show this year with my friend Carlo. We practiced for about five to six hours the week of the show and I was unable to walk those days after practice. My knee problem was stretched to a whole new level as I went through this performance, I couldn’t move in any way possible; when I got home from school I would just sit there and whine until someone would yell at my for whining too much. It was the most pain I have ever been in in my whole life, snowboarding wasn’t even that bad. This is still a struggle for me, but there is one thing that I have decided: I will keep dancing even if I have arthritis and I won’t give up until I’m in a wheelchair, unable to walk anymore.

There is someone very special that I lost this year, my grandpa. He passed away during thanksgiving break, November 22, 2011. I remember it like it was yesterday, I had just got my wisdom teeth pull that morning at ten o’clock, and it was senior skip day, the day before Thanksgiving break. My mother was crying very loudly on the phone, I could hear her yelling about it not happening and I knew my grandpa was gone. I woke up late that day knowing the news already, but my mom pulled me in her room to tell me and as I heard the story I could feel the tears flowing down my face, I couldn’t feel any pain, but the tears just didn’t stop flowing. I cried many days after he died, I even cried at the funeral; I’ve never lost someone before so this was a first for me, but to be honest I don’t want to lose any one ever again now, cause it hurts too much. I still think about him, and I still miss him, but I know he’s in a better place now. We did the rosary for him for one hundred days, everyone in my family did it together every night; it was something remarkable, I thought it was amazing to see everyone come together. All of us also got cross necklaces that were blessed by the priest that let him go; I’m one of the only kids that actually still wear their necklace anymore though. But throughout this whole experience, I learned that death is hard to cope with, but if you have friends like Tomtom you’ll be fine.

Prom. It’s the hype of senior year of course. I didn’t go to my new school's prom because I wanted to go to the Clements one and I didn’t really want to go to two proms or pay for both. So for prom my mom bought me a dress she really liked, but I hated; then I found an okay dress and bought that too, but around January I began to realize I only have one prom, and I wanted my dress to be what I really wanted. I ordered a dress online for one hundred and nine dollars and it was everything I ever wanted, the whole ball gown with the pick-up bottom. Well, the week of prom I realized that the order was cancelled, so my mom had to take me out four days before prom to find me my perfect dress, which everyone said “made me look like a princess,” and it was perfect! But away from the exciting things… prom sucked. I hated prom so much. I was in charge of the nails, corsages, and pictures for my prom group. I painted half of the girls’ nails and such which was fun, but a tad stressful cause no one knew what they wanted. Then I was also in charge of corsages for my group, with a group of twenty people it was extremely stressful. We had planned to do them at eight, but they changed the time to nine without telling me and then they didn’t even show up until ten and stayed until twelve. No one listened to me or my aunt that night, which was extremely rude and hurt my feelings to be honest. Then when we took pictures no one cooperated with me while I was trying to run things for my mother and uncle that so generously took our pictures professionally for free. Overall, I hated prom, it was a terrible experience for me, I hate dances in general. Tommy was my date and he was amazing and fixed my night by making me smile; however, he was sick, which made me worry about him all night, but I would’ve had it no other way on his part. A lot of bad things went wrong at my prom and I’m not going to say cause I don’t want to remember these things in the future, but I’m glad I got this experience. I regret going to prom and wasting money, but I’m glad I got to go and see what it was like.

The one thing that I’m happy with about moving is doing this senior memory book. I would have never been able to do this is I stayed at Clements; I have always wanted to do something like this, but I haven’t had the time and patience to, so thanks to this assignment I got to document my life until this year. And that was my senior year; Graduation date: June 1, 2012.

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