I am not brave

October 15, 2011
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OK.......so I just had to go to a hospital with my friends (I don't wanna reveal the reason). You know...we were a bunch of 15 year old kids who were objected from entering the threshold (You know the hospital RULES.NO KIDS ALLOWED during the working hours). OK. So, we were just disappointed, for we desperately wanted to go inside the hospital for a reason which I cannot reveal now !
so........we just stood there disappointed, thinking how to enter the hospital. The reverie was broken when my friends got an AWESOME (which actually is not) idea about sending me (a 15-year-old who looks older than he really is!) inside, for I looked like some BIG guy (who even sported an effing beard...which just glorified my image of being a BIG guy). WE just wanted to give something to someone in the hospital...so pressurizing me with the mission is their only option.
I detested the idea.......
I instantly rejected the idea declaiming that I won't enter the hospital alone !
Actually, the truth was that I WAS SCARED !
I mean there was this woman who was guarding the entrance, who looked very frightening (STRICT!).....she was the one who declared strictly that we could not enter the hospital.
But my friends (or more like one friend....ROUNAK) persistently insisted me to get in. He was literally squealing at me. Why couldn't he understand that I just cannot play the HERO part????????
My friend kept on forcing me, which infuriated me as well as horrified me ! But at the end they got tired forcing me and we just returned (thinking we could go again at 6 o' clock, when anybody would be allowed to enter) !
As an aferthought, it just struck me "why didn't I go in?", "Couldn't I do a SIMPLE thing?".........I just felt guilty.......and here I am reproaching myself for not having entered the hospital. AND ONE MORE THING...............when I asked my friend "why me?"......he just replied "You are the only one who physically appears to be an adult".
I was just taken aback.........
WHY do I look older than my chronological age? On top of that I was very tall as well.....with facial hair which just fostered my older-than-actual-age appearance .
and one more thing was that I wasn't BRAVE (as I mentioned above) enough to trespass the guards by tricking them !
I just feel guilty for that ! (At Least.........my guilt feels lighter after having blogged about it) !





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