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Maybe Peter Pan was onto something...

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Being a teenager, I am fully entitled to the phrases "omg", "what a b****" and "URGH!". They’re such lovely sentiments. And each represents the truths that I am discovering about growing up. At the grand old age of 14, everything is dramatic. And a lot of time it’s enjoyable, the drama, the gossip, the soap-like reality. But occasionally I get those never never land feelings creeping back, feelings of never growing up and remaining innocent forever.

These feelings sneak up on my day, and BAM, suddenly I’m having a bad one. To get to the bottom of why everyone gets these I – don’t – want – to – be – here – I – want – to – be – seven – again emotions, lets reveal some empty truths that I have unearthed from the land of teenager recently.
When you first arrive at secondary school, bright eyed and bushy tailed, life is a clean slate and anything could happen. You settle into school, get picked on by everyone, and sport the huge bag and awkwardly fitting school uniform. And I never thought I’d say this but sometimes I miss it. Everything being so equal, everyone on the starting line together. Because 4 years on, I’m getting left behind in the dust. True it’s not just me trailing on, gasping for breath, but everytime I’m lapped by someone else it sure feels like it.

4 years on, everyone’s virtual ‘lines’ are crossed. So and so went out with so and so, you-know-who got dumped, whatshername lost her virginity, each revelation is another lap lost around this never ending track. And it’s sad. Sad because everything’s messy now. The slate that was once so clean and new is covered in scribbles, heartbreaks, stress and difficult friendships. However, as with everything it’s not all bad. There are always the amazing times that you will remember and smile at; memories that swim to the forefront of your mind in an unbelievable haze.

It seems that I am getting to the point where I’m starting to see the fake side of everything. The forced laughter, fake smiles, over the top dramas and severe mood swings. All brought about through the sheer repetition of seeing the same people day in, day out. Experiencing the same things and having the same conversations. The fakery really gets to me because if you can’t tell the truth, what’s the point? Be that as it may, I know what it’s like. I’m fake with people because it’s easier and makes things smoother. So ultimately the old argument is brought about; stand up and cause a fuss, ruffle a few feathers and risk being hated or keep things cool, bottle it up and ensure people like you – unless of course they are faking it.

Growing up is inevitable, it happens to everyone. The thing that surprises me is that it’s actually happening. For so long everything seemed to stay young and innocent, until you look around a few years on and people are in ‘serious relationships’, having sex, drinking alcohol, smoking whatever they can get their hands on and GCSE’s are calling your name. Where did that come from?

In the end, the best you can hope for is that you’ll get swept along with it all and grow up too. Even if you don’t want to. Peter Pan stayed a boy, but Wendy knew what she had to do and she grew up. How sensible. Who knew being sensible – something I didn’t bank on being - would turn out to be such a b****? It reveals the truth, which is that when it comes to getting older, you really have no choice. People are going to break your heart just as many times as they’re going to mend it, and you just have to sit back and take the ride.
So omg, what a b****, I mean URGH! I’m a teenager and happy to be one, even if I do wish I had a cloth to clean up the slate once in a while. Fortunately, life provides you with one – it’s called time.



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