I can’t stand to be near him. I’ve known this for the longest time. What I didn’t know until this very moment was why. He was the only guy I’ve ever let take all of me, hollow me out like the inside of a pumpkin, but that wasn’t it. It wasn’t the disappointment, the way my head began to hang lower. It wasn’t the lies that wrote themselves into my skin. It wasn’t the way the bliss was gone before I could savor it. It was all of it. When I hear his voice our whole relationship runs through my veins all over again and it hurts more than I knew I could even feel. He was my best friend for the shortest glimpse of time and I hate how he can be two feet away and not a part of my life. But what I hate more is how much he doesn’t hate it.
When It Ends
May 3, 2011