I just wanna be left alone...

January 7, 2011
You always say you know how i feel. You know who i am. And you say that you fully understand me. But you don't. I know you don't. Because if you did, we wouldn't always be fighting. I don't fully know or understand you. If i can admite that, why can't you?

You're a mystery to me. I'm always wondering if you really do think about me, or if you just say you do, but focus on other things. Honesty is all i want in this relationship and you know that. I am always honest with you. So why do you keep distrusting me? That is my proof that you don't think about me or my feelings. If you thought about my feelings, you wouldn't treat me the way you do. Sweet and gentle in person, but mean, rude, and tough through text. Why would you do that to me? Do you love me?

I know for a fact that i love you, but sometimes i wonder why i do. You have conflicting feelings towards me and a lot of the time make me feel like crap. You always want the best for me and you always say that you're going to be by my side. Is that true? Sometimes, i think not.

I know i haven't been the best to you either. I know. But the way you make me feel is incredibly hurtful and upsetting. My friends are always saying that you are totally wrong for me. But i always defend you and say the good sides of you. But what if i said the bad sides? What do you think they would do then? They would probably hate me for still loving you. But i can't halp it. Half the time you are just too sweet, that i forget about the past. Sometimes, you bring those bad memories back.

"If that's what you think, then i don't need you!" "You never understand me, jerk!" "God, i swear, sometimes you are so F-ed up!" Those are the kind of hurtful thigns you say to me. And yet, we are still togetyher. What do you think? Have you been the perfect boyfriend? No. Am i the perfect girlfriend? No. But i try to be. Do you?

After all those horrible things you've said to me, i' surprised that i still love you. But i do. You're not full of mean, but sometimes you run out of nice. Which is why when i'm sad, i just wanna be left alone...

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ShannonVictoria said...
Jan. 22, 2011 at 1:31 am
Sorry for type-os! I wrote this quickly and didn't check for mistakes!
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