Into That Goodnight

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Everyone wonders where creative people get their inspiration. I’ve actually found its all around you. Take your friends for example. While a lot end up coming in and out of your life, you learn from them. They are the ones that teach you probably the most. If there’s one thing that just about everyone knows it’s that life is not as easy as some people make it out to be. With high school, in four years a lot changes a person. When I walked into high school, I was different, and now that I am about to walk out of high school for good I certainly am not the same person I was nearly four years ago.
I believe everyone doesn’t know who they are when they enter high school, we look funny, we act funny, and we talk funny. We really didn’t know where we fit in when we walk through the doors our freshman year. What’s actually kind f funny and in my situation I don’t talk to anyone I talked to my freshman year, barely any except maybe 2 or 3. If that’s one thing I realized is that I went from group to group I never had a certain clique. I was quiet yes, but once someone got to know me they either liked me or hated me. Which I think is better than everyone liking you then secretly hating you.
While high school certainly was the most interesting years of my life, everyone claims that high school is the best four years of your life. In all retro respect, yes that is true. High school was a roller coaster of a ride. There were many times where I would feel so low and dreaded coming here, and then there were the times where I would feel so high that coming to school was a piece of cake. I think that’s just a part of high school and better yet just a part of life. If there’s one thing, of many, I learned is that you’re not going to be happy all the time, but you’re not going to be sad all the time either. But I think there’s a balance, some kind of peace within yourself where you will be able to handle the good along with the bad.
Along with friends and going up and down I think a big part of high school is one word: love. I along with everyone probably had their share of heartbreak, I think being in love so young and wanting so many different things and having so many plans that when you lose that person you kind of become attached to, the one you have your ‘heart’ to, who you gave everything to, it takes away your entire sense of security. You fall down, but eventually and slowly you find your way to get back up. It may take a little while, it may take your whole high school career, but eventually you again find peace within yourself to let that go too. I know someone who almost broke me, and for a little while it did feel like that. He broke it, but I fixed it. I found a way too. And in all honesty it wasn’t his fault, I mean he was just being himself, he couldn’t help it. He taught me a lot. I think everyone has had that person who basically pushed them down on their face. The one that for a long time you got up to go to school for in the morning. Dundee Crown would not be the same without him, high school would not be the same without him, I would not be the same without him.
A long time ago I remember I made a decision. I made a decision to choose life. In choosing life I realized that my dreams of becoming a writer wouldn’t just happen I had to do the work. However as I look back and relive the moments that have happen is how I realize the choices I had made and that I believe is the real jackpot. I learned that dreams don’t work without action, I learned that no one could stop me but me, and I learned that love is stronger than hate. But most importantly I have learned that there is peace right inside you, underneath the pain the sorrow and the shame. I think life after high school is going to be difficult, its going to be heartbreaking, and it’s going to be yet another roller coaster of a journey. I think I’ll be a lot better knowing exactly what I know now.





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