Far From Easy

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Her chubby face laid squished against the pillow. I sat across the room admiring her peace and comfort. Slowly I got up and walked towards her. Like most of the days I'd had since she was born, I looked disheveled and slightly crazy. The baby had mad a muck of my appearance; leaving poop on my shirt, throw-up in my hair and I was sure, that mush in my shoes, was applesauce.
As I reached the crib, I leaned in to stroke her velvet skin, envious. I had none of the comfort or beauty she so blatently showed. As a new mother, my life was hectic and most of the time uncomfortable. I barely had enough time to breathe anymore. Between trying to catch up in school, maintaining friendships and taking of the baby, I found myself caring about me less and less every day.
The purple hair clips I'd thoughtfully placed in her hair earlier that morning for our family photo fell back in to crib as I picked her up. Cradling her in my arms, I stood swaying from side to side; a huge smile spread across my face, proud of the work I'd done. It was in that moment that I realized that it wasn't about all the diapers that needed to be changed, or bottles heated. It was these moments that made being a teenage mom worth it.





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