You ever had something stuck in your head and it kept repeating in your head, like a song or worse one line of a song and you don’t know the rest of the words? Well this is how I feel about Jaylund, he is constantly on my mind and I know that we are perfect for each other but I’m not sure he knows he is perfect for me. He says all the right things, like I am one of the few people he trusts, he tells me he loves me, but he has interests in other females. I try to get over him and some say what better a way than to say his name out loud or shoot him a text.

Hey it works, he replies and I respond once again and then the conversation ends. I am at peace with myself again and for a second I believe I am going to be okay and don’t have the fear of being alone anymore.

Jaylund this and Jaylund that is what I constantly hear from my peers and even when I go home. Once again I am saddened and try to occupy my time with other distractions, for I know now that a simple text message or phone call is not the solution. This is because it is only a temporary solution and the truth is time is the only thing that will help; the distractions are just a bonus until I think of him again.

Well six months passed and I finally did it. No phone calls or gatherings, just a simple text saying “hey” every once and a while. He is no longer the center of all of my thoughts. I am surrounded by friends, a new environment at college and I feel happy about the single life. That is until he chose to pick up the phone and call without warning. I answer with confidence and end the call back where I began. Then to make things worse he pays a visit to my room at school and does that thing he does where we’re having a good time and he wants a kiss but at the end of the visit I can’t commit because I know his heart is not in it.

I’ve come to realize that even though we see each other as good friends, very close friends with a wonderful trustful relationship, now is not our time to be together. I now know that we keep finding our way back to each other and if it was meant to be it will be. But for now I still have the feelings for him, however, I keep my heart open for those who I happen to fall for along the way.