Coneheads

January 15, 2010
By
The wheels were five feet tall and the cabin was a somewhat taller. My friends, Gary and Ian, and I were curious to what was inside this massive dump truck, so I climbed in to investigate other people’s property. I honestly didn’t know what I was looking for; I was seriously just searching to say I searched a dump truck. Not having much luck in finding something that really interested me, I peered over the seats and into the bed. Some dirt, some shovels, some street signs, ahh yes, CONES. Now I could work with some cones. Would I block off an intersection and make drivers detour? Would I spell out a dirty word in the grass for the dump truck workers to laugh at? Would I thrust my fists in a fit of fury into the fire colored fun creators and flap my arms like Fawkes?

I threw the cones out of the bed and scurried over to the edge of the street and ordered my troops to create a blockade. There were about seven cones, and I thought that number would suffice.

We rolled over on our stomachs and silently snickered with our eyes after Ian quickly whispered, “Get down, Get down!”

After a few seconds passing by, I could see the headlights of the car inch closer and closer, and to an eventual stop. Two men got out of the car, slammed the doors, and I heard one say “Stupid kids, why would they do this s***?” Listening for a response, I soon heard “Yeah! I bet they’re right behind that truck!” As soon as we heard this we glared at one another and all had faces of Uhh Ohhhh.

To our surprise, the two guys tossed the cones to the side of the road, got in their respective seats, and drove away. Later I admitted that fear struck me like lightning and I seriously thought one of them would pull out a lead bat from their car and come beat us to a bloody pulp. (sike) Ian, Gary, and I laughed uncontrollably and eventually made my eyes water, but that wouldn’t be the end of our laughter that night.

Continuing to laugh as we started walking back, the car suddenly did a u-turn and headed for our direction. I stopped dead in my tracks and point and yell, “LETS GET OUT OF HERE!”

We took off in the field to our right, thinking to pull a fast one, logically considering that they wouldn’t get out of the cars and chase us like we were animals. Funny thing was, we were running as if animals were chasing us. It was pretty dark and it was difficult to maneuver through the clods of dirt and other various natural obstacles, and it was only a matter of time before one of us fell victim to their traps. It was Gary.

He was the unlucky one to trip, but oh was it funny. He stepped in a foot deep hole and all I could see out of my peripherals was him dropping and his arms flying in the air and a small, feeble cry coming from the air, “arghhhh!” I thought I was going to die from side splittingitis when he then reached out to us as if he had just gotten shot in battle, “GO ON WITHOUT ME!” I continued jogging toward the forest while I was hysterically laughing, and when I reached the first row of trees, turned to see Ian with a grin on his face and Gary struggling to gain his balance after quickly hopping up out of the hole.

“Hey Gary, I don’t think you were suppose to step in that spot. There was a hole there.” I said with a chuckle and a sarcastic tone

“Thanks man. I’m glad you noticed that one too.” He responded with the same tone.

Hands down one of the funniest moments of my life, and it turns out; the car wasn’t even chasing us…





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