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Mom, I’m Gay This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

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     I remember that day when I proudly stated, “Mom, I’m gay.” I felt liberated - until I realized that she wanted to push me out of the car. Liberation, all right. Good thing I wasn’t liberated from my seat belt.

I’ve always been one to test the waters. Sometimes the outcome is good, like admitting I’m gay, and sometimes the outcome is tragic, like that haircut in third grade.

I decided to tell her that night because she was mad at me already. Yes, and my parents call me the smart child. I felt the need to test the limits again. Besides, how much deeper could I dig myself?

Well, it turns out, pretty far.

“Mom, I’m gay.”

The car swerved to the left. Honk. Then to the right. Beep. As she straightened out, I realized I had just blabbed the secret of a lifetime; some people keep this inside their whole lives while I blurted it out on a car ride to my therapist’s office.

“No, you’re not.”

“Yes, I am,” I responded, just for the sake of contradicting her. “Look, I’m going out on a limb to tell you. It’s not easy for me.” Well, there it was. It just came out. Once I got going, it was pretty easy.

“I just want you to be normal. Don’t you want to be normal?”

“I do! This has nothing to do with being normal!” An argument. Things were getting interesting.

“Then fix it. Don’t be gay!”

Oh, if I could have screamed, I would have! Fix it? There’s nothing to be fixed! Toilets need to be fixed! My sexuality? Nope! Being gay isn’t something I could do anything about. I was mad, so I huffed and puffed in silence as she drove, white-knuckled, down the highway.

At the therapist’s office, I bawled about how unlucky I was to have a mother who lacked understanding, was uncaring and was a bad driver. The therapist called my mom in, saying the three of us needed to talk. I sensed a fiasco.

Mom walked in with a fake smile. I wanted to tell her to wipe it off, but that wasn’t what we were here for. She sat next to me and I started analyzing her every move. Okay, she sat down next to me. That’s good. Extra long blink. Not good. She doesn’t even want to look at me. She’s shifting in her seat. She’s uncomfortable. Or maybe she’s trying to get closer to me. Or farther away.

“Hello? Earth to you, dear.”

“Umm.” Perfect. I felt like an idiot. My therapist was being paid huge amounts of money to hear me say umm and analyze my mother’s every move? I was so busy looking at my mom that I’d completely missed what my therapist had been saying.

“I think you know that Mom loves you no matter what. And Mom, this isn’t an attention thing. I’ve known this for a while. It’s no big secret.” Well, not anymore!

We went home that evening pretending nothing had happened. I was careful not to distract my mother.

And today? Well, we’re getting along. I’ve learned to love the fact that I like girls and am secure in my sexuality, I’ve been able to tell other people. I’m not ashamed anymore. It’s who I am. Just like I’ll always mismatch my socks, I’ll always have a weakness for underwear shopping and hazelnut coffee, and I’ll always like girls. My mother may not exactly love it, but she can deal. But just wait until I bring home my first girlfriend!

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.




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This article has 186 comments. Post your own!

cavatina said...
May 16, 2011 at 7:51 pm:
to consEcon: your comments are really annoying me
 
Sunrise replied...
Jun. 29, 2011 at 6:32 am :
Y'all are just doing the same thing you are saying they're doing. But they are really just supporting the person the article is about. By using the Bible verse they is saying we should not judge the LBGT community. We really shoudn't judge anyone. The bible says for whoseever keepth the whole law and yet ofened in on point he is guilty of all.Thus we are all guilty of homosexuality . Well, I am bisexual already but still, the whole straight community is guilty.
 
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the-girl-on-fire said...
May 16, 2011 at 6:45 pm:
Thank you! I love who I am and I don't need God to tell me otherwise!
 
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fire_ice4ever This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
May 16, 2011 at 8:33 pm:

But god also gave homosexuals life...

Shouldn't we as people respect ALL of god's children? Not the ones we as mortals deem worthy?

 
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AsIAm This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
May 16, 2011 at 11:03 pm:

Just a sidenote: homosexual couples cannot have children naturally (for obvious reasons).  Therefore they most adopt.  Because of conditions involving the type of birth-parents who usually give up their children, adopted children have a higher rate of mental disorders.  Consider your point negated.

 

 

And just to negate your point that God hates homosexuals, if that was true, why would he make homosexual animals? And don't try to say humans are t... (more »)

 
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HannahsEvolving said...
May 4, 2011 at 9:01 pm:
<3 this is wonderfull
 
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P03tryPunk said...
Apr. 24, 2011 at 12:53 am:
Awesome article! Very well written. I agree with you 100% people should come out to their family more often. You will never know how they will react and how much theysupport and love you until you do. You should be whoever you want to be and no one can tell you different! Way to go girl!!!
 
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TeaCat said...
Apr. 15, 2011 at 6:32 pm:
This is a wonderful article! :)
 
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JoPepperThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Apr. 15, 2011 at 4:33 pm:
I love this article. I believe everyone is allowed to love whoever they want.  No one should have the right to take that away!!! :)
 
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aaliona said...
Apr. 12, 2011 at 4:29 pm:
Some people are posting really immature comments on this, but don't worry about that; all of them that I saw were anonymous. This was very well-written!
 
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LaKayla said...
Apr. 8, 2011 at 10:27 am:
What this person feels is seriously not your concern. leave it alone. i'm sure everyone of you let your feelings out in a poem, or a song, something like that. let it be. no one should be judged anyway for anything.  congrats for a well written article.
 
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MysteryHeart said...
Apr. 6, 2011 at 6:03 pm:
I am not a religious person infact i hate it cause it kills people.... however i do have a Faith and beliefe in the Bible and in a God whom i know loves the whole world. I also know that as much as God made everyone and loves everyone He HATES SIN. and the Bible clearly states in the Book of Romans 1:22-32 that homosexuallity is and abomination to God. NO God did not make you this way!!!!!! He did make you, but He did not make you to lust over your own gender. when God created people in the gard... (more »)
 
OurSTORY replied...
Dec. 22, 2011 at 5:52 pm :
Honestly you cannot testify that someone is unhappy or empty inside simply because of their sexuality.
 
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writerchick2095 said...
Apr. 5, 2011 at 7:21 pm:
This is a really inspirational story. I've never had to experience something like this, but it's really a brave thing to do.
 
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zhlenThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 2, 2011 at 6:41 pm:
Ack! People are so mean! It's kinda sad really... I don't see why they have to be the one to judge, who ever gave them that role. I think I'll just watch the cards play out, anyways, this was a good article. I liked the writing style a lot.
 
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Hart said...
Mar. 20, 2011 at 9:56 am:
I believe homosexuality is wrong, but I don't discriminate against someone because of their orientation.  I just try to avoid the topic.
 
Brittbyheart replied...
Jun. 7, 2011 at 10:45 am :
I was raised up in a christain home and my family all say gays and lesbians are wrong. My opinion? God made US who WE are. We were born gay, and if that is who God wants us to be, than why say it is not okay? Food for though.
 
theartgeek97 replied...
Jun. 7, 2011 at 10:57 am :
I agree.  My religion also says this is wrong and I am against it.  However, I feel it isn't my place to judge people.  That's God's job, and He loves EVERYBODY. :)  I disagree with this article but think it was written well.
 
purplelessskin replied...
Jul. 20, 2011 at 4:15 pm :
How can there be right and wrong? It's just how they feel, who they are attracted to. They can't help it and they shouldn't try too.
 
P03tryPunk replied...
Apr. 24, 2011 at 12:50 am :
if you were trying to avoid the topic you wouldn't be posting on this article and it's not right to tell someone that they can't love whoever they please...what if i told you you can't love the person you do love...would you like that? idon't think so...let the girl live her life the way she wants to...you can't tell her what to do
 
cavatina replied...
May 16, 2011 at 7:49 pm :
I dont think posting coments about it is avoiding the topic
 
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