Mom, I’m Gay This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

     I remember that day when I proudly stated, “Mom, I’m gay.” I felt liberated - until I realized that she wanted to push me out of the car. Liberation, all right. Good thing I wasn’t liberated from my seat belt.

I’ve always been one to test the waters. Sometimes the outcome is good, like admitting I’m gay, and sometimes the outcome is tragic, like that haircut in third grade.

I decided to tell her that night because she was mad at me already. Yes, and my parents call me the smart child. I felt the need to test the limits again. Besides, how much deeper could I dig myself?

Well, it turns out, pretty far.

“Mom, I’m gay.”

The car swerved to the left. Honk. Then to the right. Beep. As she straightened out, I realized I had just blabbed the secret of a lifetime; some people keep this inside their whole lives while I blurted it out on a car ride to my therapist’s office.

“No, you’re not.”

“Yes, I am,” I responded, just for the sake of contradicting her. “Look, I’m going out on a limb to tell you. It’s not easy for me.” Well, there it was. It just came out. Once I got going, it was pretty easy.

“I just want you to be normal. Don’t you want to be normal?”

“I do! This has nothing to do with being normal!” An argument. Things were getting interesting.

“Then fix it. Don’t be gay!”

Oh, if I could have screamed, I would have! Fix it? There’s nothing to be fixed! Toilets need to be fixed! My sexuality? Nope! Being gay isn’t something I could do anything about. I was mad, so I huffed and puffed in silence as she drove, white-knuckled, down the highway.

At the therapist’s office, I bawled about how unlucky I was to have a mother who lacked understanding, was uncaring and was a bad driver. The therapist called my mom in, saying the three of us needed to talk. I sensed a fiasco.

Mom walked in with a fake smile. I wanted to tell her to wipe it off, but that wasn’t what we were here for. She sat next to me and I started analyzing her every move. Okay, she sat down next to me. That’s good. Extra long blink. Not good. She doesn’t even want to look at me. She’s shifting in her seat. She’s uncomfortable. Or maybe she’s trying to get closer to me. Or farther away.

“Hello? Earth to you, dear.”

“Umm.” Perfect. I felt like an idiot. My therapist was being paid huge amounts of money to hear me say umm and analyze my mother’s every move? I was so busy looking at my mom that I’d completely missed what my therapist had been saying.

“I think you know that Mom loves you no matter what. And Mom, this isn’t an attention thing. I’ve known this for a while. It’s no big secret.” Well, not anymore!

We went home that evening pretending nothing had happened. I was careful not to distract my mother.

And today? Well, we’re getting along. I’ve learned to love the fact that I like girls and am secure in my sexuality, I’ve been able to tell other people. I’m not ashamed anymore. It’s who I am. Just like I’ll always mismatch my socks, I’ll always have a weakness for underwear shopping and hazelnut coffee, and I’ll always like girls. My mother may not exactly love it, but she can deal. But just wait until I bring home my first girlfriend!

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.

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SaritaFajita said...
Jun. 29, 2011 at 11:50 am
I admire your work and your bravery for putting it out there and being proud of yourself. You should NEVER be ashamed of who you are. Your mother still loves you no matter what and I hope things work out for  you! I wish it wasnt written annonomously though, because I would have LOVED to read your other work!
GravityMcFalls said...
Jun. 29, 2011 at 11:28 am
Wow! I admire your confidences, courage, and easiness in that situation! I'm not gay, or bi, but I respect their lifestyle choices and treat them nicely like I try to do to other people. And I have HIGH respect for YOU! You rule! : )
Celia said...
Jun. 29, 2011 at 9:33 am
I admire your courage and confidence. I hope things continue to get better with your mom. this was very well-written too! :)
ChelseyChelsey said...
Jun. 29, 2011 at 7:57 am
I'm happy for you for coming out alot of my friends (girls) are gay too. I'm glad you were confident enough to come out. Good luck in life and God Bless You :)
Sunrise said...
Jun. 29, 2011 at 6:46 am
Awesome article. Very well written. I have been back and forth on wanting to tell my dad that I am bisexual. I know it is serif for a chick, but my bestfriend is a Guy and he say I should tell him that he of all people would understand seeing as his bestfriend is a lesbian. Ether way Jessie is always there for me. What would the world do without best friends.
Meerie said...
Jun. 29, 2011 at 5:38 am
I love your style, it truly gives an edge to your article! But I wish you'd have elaborated on how it worked out, because not only would it give us more good stuff to read but it's also what seems to be a main point in any "coming-out story". Yours seems far from the ordinary such story in its' voice, however, so congrats. (:
cookie_monsta said...
Jun. 29, 2011 at 3:17 am
I want to tell my mother so badly that I'm bisexual. It's not with our religion though.(Christian) But can I really help it? This is beautifully written by the way. :)
OurSTORY replied...
Dec. 22, 2011 at 5:48 pm
While your mother may not understand I'm sure she will lvoe you no matter what. :)
Bucket M. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 25, 2011 at 1:39 am
I truly applaud you for writing this!.. I've always pictured my coming out like this. Keep it up =)
chel-z-boo said...
Jun. 14, 2011 at 9:38 am
I loved your article. Mainly because I know what it's like to have to face my mom and tell her about my sexuality. It was difficcult at first, but she finally came along. This piece was effective because i can relate. I loved that you appealed to the senses and that helped the piece be more visual. I absolutely loved it.
Anton E. Mouse said...
Jun. 7, 2011 at 7:55 pm

This is in response to anthony1414's question, "why did you choose to write this?" i put it up here cause i wanted everyone else to see this.

The same reason why anyone writes anything. the same reason why anyone draws anything. the same reason why anyone plays any musical instrument. none of things might be essential to living, but they get your thoughts and feelings out, and i sure thought that this piece got this person's feelings out.

IamtheshyStargirl said...
Jun. 7, 2011 at 1:05 pm
I love your brashness in writing this, it's awesome that you can admit that, and feel completely comfortablt in your admition.
heatherbug replied...
Jun. 7, 2011 at 6:25 pm

so true...thats awsome that you could tell people like that


Midkinght-Warrior said...
Jun. 7, 2011 at 12:37 pm
Happy 4 you
Brittbyheart said...
Jun. 7, 2011 at 10:40 am
This was an excilent article. I am very very proud of you for stepping up in who you are. Good girl! lol, and I hope everything turns out the way you hope.
Ale9x said...
Jun. 7, 2011 at 8:32 am
good. you should allow your courage to teach those out there who are hiding their sexuality that it is okay.
K.M.S.Shear said...
Jun. 7, 2011 at 7:34 am
very interesting story
musicprincess This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
May 31, 2011 at 10:25 am
You're a very brave and confident person for posting this :) More power to you my friend. For all of the haters, judge not lest ye be judged and don't pretend to know everything just because you go to ch.urch. This is no different than preffering blondes over brunettes or tall over short. It's a preference, not some disease or malfunction, so I ask in the nicest way possible, get a grip and stop hating on people who are confident with themselves.
fire_ice4ever This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
May 16, 2011 at 8:33 pm

But god also gave homosexuals life...

Shouldn't we as people respect ALL of god's children? Not the ones we as mortals deem worthy?

Alpacagirl replied...
Jul. 3, 2011 at 12:31 am
perfectly stated!
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