Mom, I’m Gay This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

     I remember that day when I proudly stated, “Mom, I’m gay.” I felt liberated - until I realized that she wanted to push me out of the car. Liberation, all right. Good thing I wasn’t liberated from my seat belt.

I’ve always been one to test the waters. Sometimes the outcome is good, like admitting I’m gay, and sometimes the outcome is tragic, like that haircut in third grade.

I decided to tell her that night because she was mad at me already. Yes, and my parents call me the smart child. I felt the need to test the limits again. Besides, how much deeper could I dig myself?

Well, it turns out, pretty far.

“Mom, I’m gay.”

The car swerved to the left. Honk. Then to the right. Beep. As she straightened out, I realized I had just blabbed the secret of a lifetime; some people keep this inside their whole lives while I blurted it out on a car ride to my therapist’s office.

“No, you’re not.”

“Yes, I am,” I responded, just for the sake of contradicting her. “Look, I’m going out on a limb to tell you. It’s not easy for me.” Well, there it was. It just came out. Once I got going, it was pretty easy.

“I just want you to be normal. Don’t you want to be normal?”

“I do! This has nothing to do with being normal!” An argument. Things were getting interesting.

“Then fix it. Don’t be gay!”

Oh, if I could have screamed, I would have! Fix it? There’s nothing to be fixed! Toilets need to be fixed! My sexuality? Nope! Being gay isn’t something I could do anything about. I was mad, so I huffed and puffed in silence as she drove, white-knuckled, down the highway.

At the therapist’s office, I bawled about how unlucky I was to have a mother who lacked understanding, was uncaring and was a bad driver. The therapist called my mom in, saying the three of us needed to talk. I sensed a fiasco.

Mom walked in with a fake smile. I wanted to tell her to wipe it off, but that wasn’t what we were here for. She sat next to me and I started analyzing her every move. Okay, she sat down next to me. That’s good. Extra long blink. Not good. She doesn’t even want to look at me. She’s shifting in her seat. She’s uncomfortable. Or maybe she’s trying to get closer to me. Or farther away.

“Hello? Earth to you, dear.”

“Umm.” Perfect. I felt like an idiot. My therapist was being paid huge amounts of money to hear me say umm and analyze my mother’s every move? I was so busy looking at my mom that I’d completely missed what my therapist had been saying.

“I think you know that Mom loves you no matter what. And Mom, this isn’t an attention thing. I’ve known this for a while. It’s no big secret.” Well, not anymore!

We went home that evening pretending nothing had happened. I was careful not to distract my mother.

And today? Well, we’re getting along. I’ve learned to love the fact that I like girls and am secure in my sexuality, I’ve been able to tell other people. I’m not ashamed anymore. It’s who I am. Just like I’ll always mismatch my socks, I’ll always have a weakness for underwear shopping and hazelnut coffee, and I’ll always like girls. My mother may not exactly love it, but she can deal. But just wait until I bring home my first girlfriend!

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.

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This article has 190 comments. Post your own now!

LesCrow said...
Dec. 4, 2009 at 1:06 pm
I believe being  gay  is a decision, it's not how you were made.
Rayu94 replied...
Jan. 14, 2010 at 8:23 pm
I just recently discovered that I'm gay, and it was never a decision for me. I went most of my life thinking I was straight and wondering why I didn't feel the need to ogle boys like my friends sometimes did. When I finally figured it out, it wasn't, "Oh, I think I'll try that," it was, "Wow. That explains a lot." (For some reason, no)ne of my friends or family were as surprised as me.
ShrimpyBB said...
Dec. 4, 2009 at 12:17 am
This is a great article. My cousin is gay and she doesn't seem any different. You don't act any different than straight people! I don't see what the big deal is, it's just who you are. Great Job!!
Aleece said...
Nov. 12, 2009 at 5:47 pm
nice coming out with your feelings
Electricity This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 4, 2009 at 8:46 pm
I'm bisexual. Both sexes are HOT! Everyone makes faces at me now, and i lost some friends because of that. But this is giving me a boost of... idk what to call it, I just feel better reading this. Anyway, great article, I'm glad it was published. Luckily my mom knew before me that I was bisexual, and she loves me just the same, though I feel like i've disappointed her.
CutiePie said...
Apr. 5, 2009 at 10:28 pm
I love this piece. you are an inspiration
boo bear<3 said...
Apr. 5, 2009 at 3:00 pm
be ur self. dont let anyone or thing stop u
lilchrystal15 said...
Dec. 10, 2008 at 7:22 pm
hey im fixen to be 15 and ive been dating girls for about 2 years now behind my parents back.well i just told my mom about a month ago and she freeked and started saying its just a phase well i told her mom no its not u can believ its a phase but when i come home and tell you im engaged to a girl dont say mom is still weary about it but now im datin a 20 year old and things couldnt be any better with not in the closet though so i have no worries.god bless you and merry christmas
rEMEMBERtHErIOT replied...
Jun. 21, 2011 at 1:46 pm
good for you! you are who you are, you can't change it but you can accept it.
CheyMJonas replied...
Aug. 18, 2011 at 7:11 pm
I love this my dad is te same as the mother in the story i really injoyed this thank you so much
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