Mom, I’m Gay This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

     I remember that day when I proudly stated, “Mom, I’m gay.” I felt liberated - until I realized that she wanted to push me out of the car. Liberation, all right. Good thing I wasn’t liberated from my seat belt.

I’ve always been one to test the waters. Sometimes the outcome is good, like admitting I’m gay, and sometimes the outcome is tragic, like that haircut in third grade.

I decided to tell her that night because she was mad at me already. Yes, and my parents call me the smart child. I felt the need to test the limits again. Besides, how much deeper could I dig myself?

Well, it turns out, pretty far.

“Mom, I’m gay.”

The car swerved to the left. Honk. Then to the right. Beep. As she straightened out, I realized I had just blabbed the secret of a lifetime; some people keep this inside their whole lives while I blurted it out on a car ride to my therapist’s office.

“No, you’re not.”

“Yes, I am,” I responded, just for the sake of contradicting her. “Look, I’m going out on a limb to tell you. It’s not easy for me.” Well, there it was. It just came out. Once I got going, it was pretty easy.

“I just want you to be normal. Don’t you want to be normal?”

“I do! This has nothing to do with being normal!” An argument. Things were getting interesting.

“Then fix it. Don’t be gay!”

Oh, if I could have screamed, I would have! Fix it? There’s nothing to be fixed! Toilets need to be fixed! My sexuality? Nope! Being gay isn’t something I could do anything about. I was mad, so I huffed and puffed in silence as she drove, white-knuckled, down the highway.

At the therapist’s office, I bawled about how unlucky I was to have a mother who lacked understanding, was uncaring and was a bad driver. The therapist called my mom in, saying the three of us needed to talk. I sensed a fiasco.

Mom walked in with a fake smile. I wanted to tell her to wipe it off, but that wasn’t what we were here for. She sat next to me and I started analyzing her every move. Okay, she sat down next to me. That’s good. Extra long blink. Not good. She doesn’t even want to look at me. She’s shifting in her seat. She’s uncomfortable. Or maybe she’s trying to get closer to me. Or farther away.

“Hello? Earth to you, dear.”

“Umm.” Perfect. I felt like an idiot. My therapist was being paid huge amounts of money to hear me say umm and analyze my mother’s every move? I was so busy looking at my mom that I’d completely missed what my therapist had been saying.

“I think you know that Mom loves you no matter what. And Mom, this isn’t an attention thing. I’ve known this for a while. It’s no big secret.” Well, not anymore!

We went home that evening pretending nothing had happened. I was careful not to distract my mother.

And today? Well, we’re getting along. I’ve learned to love the fact that I like girls and am secure in my sexuality, I’ve been able to tell other people. I’m not ashamed anymore. It’s who I am. Just like I’ll always mismatch my socks, I’ll always have a weakness for underwear shopping and hazelnut coffee, and I’ll always like girls. My mother may not exactly love it, but she can deal. But just wait until I bring home my first girlfriend!

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.

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WinterSunSummerSnow said...
Nov. 14 at 7:53 pm
Great for you! That's the most savage confession I've ever read.
carpe_noctemThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Dec. 6, 2016 at 8:16 pm
This is amazing, and quite similar to my experience coming out.
TimR. said...
Mar. 30, 2015 at 8:58 am
Awesome! Im glad one of us is doing great! Good for you! :)
TierraJunebug said...
May 15, 2014 at 11:21 pm
good for you! she needed to know , and whether or not she approves is not whats important , your happiness does matter though and it sounds like you are happy now that you got that out of the way.
WilliamN said...
Mar. 11, 2014 at 2:44 pm
I want to honestly congratulate you on your decision. I have homosexual cousins, and reading your work just made me feel so shocked at the reaction of your mother. Well done!
Alycia L. said...
Jan. 1, 2014 at 11:53 am
I love the positive tone and the humor in the last paragraph. This article is amazing, well-written, and really grabs the reader and puts them in your shoes. Well done.
risakonis0 said...
Dec. 23, 2013 at 3:49 pm
Total cold chills! Fave article I've read on here!!! 
Merla said...
Sept. 11, 2013 at 10:20 am
I like how this article was funny, even though the situation was pretty serious. The humour wasn’t forced, he was just there and made the article an enjoyable read. But I really hope your mother comes to term with your sexuality, it shouldn’t be a thing you’re ashamed of. Also, I sincerely hope you do write about it when you bring your first girlfriend home…  
transparantspirit434 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 13, 2013 at 7:45 pm
Okay, so I know that this story has 179 comments and mine is going to get lost in the never-ending pool of these, but... that was so brave of you. And I really enjoyed reading it. That is all. Keep it up!
GleekGamer This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 28, 2013 at 8:43 am
Love it. Fantastic and brave.
Mirooney said...
May 26, 2013 at 9:18 am
you must be very brave for doing this!
looloo replied...
Oct. 6, 2015 at 3:39 am
Communicates the feeling very well - quite moving
Emily A. said...
May 25, 2013 at 11:10 am
I admire you! Kudos! Haha, you and I sound so similar! We're both lesbian, obsessed with hazlenut coffee and underwear shopping, and seeing therapists! Keep yourself and your coffee strong <333
TierraJunebug replied...
May 15, 2014 at 11:23 pm
I like hazelnut coffee and underwear shopping tooooo , but im bisexual , its amazing how a person like myself can feel so alone like no one understands , then realize that youre not alone
Kregory_James_III said...
May 21, 2013 at 2:55 pm
Great article! i remeber when I told my parents I was gay, it was nerve racking. I admire your courage.
YozoraK said...
May 14, 2013 at 11:17 am
I have to say, I really do admire your courage.  Just coming out to your mom like you did took a lot of guts no matter how much you just "blurted" it out.  I wish I could be just like you in coming out to my family.   I'm scared of what their reaction will be despite already being sure of what it will be because of certain comments that have been dropped (my stepfather doesn't like Adam Lambert because of his sexuality, not because of his music, which is wro... (more »)
Cozzy said...
Apr. 18, 2013 at 5:43 pm
This is so sweet :) I support gays all the way and I'm glad you and your mom are getting along again.
Jamese said...
Mar. 27, 2013 at 12:01 pm
i like this piece.It shows that you're not afraid to show you're not afraid to be who you are...Anyone should accept that
Kayla_Guthrie said...
Feb. 19, 2013 at 11:48 am
i love it how you are willing to share this personal story. i am glad you and your mother worked things out. thank you for sharing a very deep and personal peice. and keep up with that humor of yours, humor can do wonders with tough situations
LinkinPark12 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 16, 2013 at 2:20 pm
This was great. Glad it worked out okay in the end :)
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