Fitting In | Teen Ink

Fitting In MAG

By MonicaMS BRONZE, Providence, Rhode Island
MonicaMS BRONZE, Providence, Rhode Island
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

I wouldn't ask for a dressing room. My mom always asked for me.
The evening before I had repeatedly risen from my seat and piled on excess noodles suffocated in meat sauce. Then I licked my bowl with the buttered garlic bread, leaving no evidence of the four servings I had inhaled. In the morning I would be forced to lie on my bed and suck in my stomach just to button my jeans. I dreaded school shopping. The sale rack, with its slender size markers, knew my number continued to bloat.

I learned how to eat from my dad: fast and without thinking. In our house, the dinner table involved battle, with the children on defense. One false move and our dinner would be snatched off our plates without warning and gobbled up by our father faster than we could blink. We soon learned to keep a hand up while devouring our chicken strips, and if Mom decided to cook that night we needed to hurry and get seconds before it was gone.

Only one pair of jeans I tried on fit. I lied and told my mother I could button every pair but only needed the jeans that lay guarded in my hands. We walked to the checkout.

I kept my head down as we passed a group of girls. They whispered. I glanced up only long enough to know my place. Their eyes cut at me, hands cupped over their mouths in secrecy.

***

The recess bell rang and I followed two girls in my third grade class out past the monkey bars to the fenced grassy area. We all wore the same clothes that year: khaki pants and polo shirts. Everyone was the same, or that was the idea.

“I like your pants. Where did you get them?” Marcy asked Alicia. I nodded in agreement, thankful they had removed their cupped hands and I could hear the conversation.

“Really? I like yours better,” Alicia replied.

“We should trade. What size are you?” Marcy asked.

“I don't know …” Alicia said, finding the tag in the back of her pants. “Seven.”

“Me too,” Marcy said.

***

I hid in line as I held the jeans, tag folded in so nobody could see the number inscribed on it was 12. I am not a size seven.



Similar Articles

JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 348 comments.


the keeper said...
on Oct. 13 2010 at 10:03 am
i'm really sorry to hear your story. its sad but yet motivating. i really love the way you write and how you express youself.

SALT said...
on Oct. 13 2010 at 9:25 am
I know how you feel.I get scared to tell anyone my size. Your writing is amazing and Don't worry someday you wont care about ur size.

Mike&Ike said...
on Oct. 13 2010 at 9:25 am
Im very sorry to hear about your story, but you shouldnt feel left out. everyone is made differently and your perfect the way you are. Your story touched my heart and i hope you can feel better about school.

on Oct. 13 2010 at 9:23 am
What is so funny

Deadly Alive said...
on Oct. 13 2010 at 9:22 am
That was a really great story and i loved it. I loved how you explained how you felt and that you weren't embarrased to share that story and that to me shows a great writer at heart and on the paper

on Oct. 13 2010 at 9:19 am
It was sad to hear your story, but you should be content with your size, everyone is made differently.

akatheshizz said...
on Oct. 13 2010 at 9:18 am
Your story was moving. Don't worry about fitting in, because what is best is you being yourself. Not everyone is a size seven, so be strong(:

justme said...
on Oct. 13 2010 at 9:16 am
I like how you described your dinner and i can relate to that all the girls in my school think the same way just stay true to your self.

on Oct. 12 2010 at 11:11 am
effortlesslove BRONZE, Westminster, Maryland
3 articles 0 photos 53 comments

Favorite Quote:
"A friend is someone who can sing the song in your heart when you have forgotten the words"i

I read yours it was so good!.

on Oct. 12 2010 at 11:10 am
effortlesslove BRONZE, Westminster, Maryland
3 articles 0 photos 53 comments

Favorite Quote:
"A friend is someone who can sing the song in your heart when you have forgotten the words"i

This is such a good piece of writing.
I love everything you wrote.

on Oct. 11 2010 at 6:54 am
sleepinginthegarden BRONZE, Kingston, Massachusetts
2 articles 0 photos 66 comments
omg read my story nightmare of depression u will luv it

Addiekins said...
on Oct. 7 2010 at 3:46 pm
Addiekins, Ukiah, California
0 articles 0 photos 22 comments

Favorite Quote:
Are you there? I cannot hear what you say in response. Or maybe the silence is just you listening

im a size 13 and no one believes me. the size doesnt make you who you are. the style does though. lol but im sure they were cute pants

on Oct. 4 2010 at 10:11 am
PrudenceFang BRONZE, Herriman, Utah
3 articles 0 photos 32 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Life isn't worth living unless you believe in something."

Studies show that in 2008, girls as young as seven and eight put themselves on diets. The media is bombarding us with the message to be skinny. It's destructive.

on Oct. 2 2010 at 12:17 pm
PrudenceFang BRONZE, Herriman, Utah
3 articles 0 photos 32 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Life isn't worth living unless you believe in something."

I have a hard time trying to feel good about myself because of weight too. I feel embarassed to go shopping for clothes. I hate feeling that way, but it's hard when everyone around you has a skinny waist and a tiny butt, while you are elephantine.

Elisabeth GOLD said...
on Sep. 28 2010 at 6:11 pm
Elisabeth GOLD, Nottingham, New Hampshire
10 articles 0 photos 23 comments

Favorite Quote:
"A true friend is hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget."

You sould like you would rather be a smaller size to fit in with the other girls, but dont worry about them. Be who you are and dont let a silly thing like a jean size get you down. Be proud of who you are! I, personally, am not as small as most of my friends, but they dont care and neither do i. If friends are true friends that wont care about silly things like that and neither should u

GaelicC said...
on Sep. 26 2010 at 11:12 am
GaelicC, Longford, Other
0 articles 0 photos 91 comments

Favorite Quote:
No -Rosa Parks

By the way, i was supposed to say 'you sound uncomfortable with yourself'. Sorry about that slight error!!(:

GaelicC said...
on Sep. 26 2010 at 11:10 am
GaelicC, Longford, Other
0 articles 0 photos 91 comments

Favorite Quote:
No -Rosa Parks

I agree. You sound a uncomfortable with yourself, but don't be. Lots of people feel this way, but don't let it get to you! The outside dosen't matter!

jsub5 said...
on Sep. 23 2010 at 2:00 pm
Your writing is is very inspirational

on Sep. 21 2010 at 3:15 pm
this was good and funny because it was talking about a bigger big girl. And the struggles she faces.

suckit21 said...
on Sep. 21 2010 at 12:55 pm
hahahaahahahahahahha