My palms become clammy, the condensation on my Gatorade drips down making a puddle on the table. I push my hair in front of my face and pull my shirt up. I can hear them laughing at me. I can hear the chatter that is traded between them. Do they not realize I can hear them? Do they know that I can see them glaring?! I want to get up, leave this room, and never come back. I thought they were my friends, that we could trust each other. I told them my secrets, and they betrayed me! I invested my life in them; they knew every little thing about me. I should have figured they did not like me. They went out every weekend; partying and had fun, while I stayed home, wrapped up in a blanket, thinking of what I did wrong. They thought I wouldn’t find out, but those constant uploads of them together, with witty captions referencing me, stared out from my computer screen. My phone buzzed in my backpack. I flipped open the keyboard, and pressed the OK button. ‘It’s so sad that you’re alone,’ my phone buzzed again, ‘just kidding…’ The words stung, I picked at my nails, trying not to cry. The neon nail polish fluttered off and landed on the ground. I just want to shout at them! I wanted to go up to them and scream. WHY DO YOU DO THIS? DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT DOES TO ME? DO YOU KNOW THE PAIN I FEEL ON THE INSIDE?! No one knew. I was afraid to tell anyone, I was scared that if I said something, I would be mocked and laughed at. If I told my parents, they would tell the principle and everyone would think I was a rat. I bottled up my emotions inside of me. In school, they always say that going to a teacher, especially the guidance counselor, would help. How is some middle-aged teacher, supposed to tell me that they know how I feel? They are not me. They do not know how it feels to be so afraid that you can not tell anyone. That’s what makes bullies so powerful, they are never confronted, and if they are, it does not change them. We can not just stop bullying but leaving it ignored. I left it unrecognized; I let them run my life. I should have realized they were not true friends, and found a new ‘group’ of friends. Everyone says stopping a bully is simple, we are afraid to stand up for what we believe in, and if we do, we are afraid that we will get bullied. Stopping bullying in just one day is not feasible; it takes bullies realizing that what they are doing is wrong and obtaining the will power to change. We must pass laws against cyber bullying, create safe zones, near and far from school, and confront bullies so they realize that what they are doing is wrong.
I Can See You
May 29, 2012