The Starlight Voyage | Teen Ink

The Starlight Voyage

December 8, 2014
By Anonymous

The Starlight Voyage
The largest and fastest ship in all the space fleet, the Starlight was the most superior ship in the galaxy. Captained and built by Admiral Kevin Bridgestone, the ship was nearly indestructible. Now to put this ship to the real test, the government is sending the ship to explore the unknown after strange contact with extraterrestrials on earth. With this occurrence the leaders of the world are worried that if they were to be attacked by these other species, will we be able to match the power of what we are up against?
“Admiral Bridgestone, do you have your crew ready for your voyage?” asked General Turner of the United States Armed Forces.
“Yes General I do,”replied Bridgestone, “we are preparing for departure and should be setting out in 20 minutes.”
“Good job, make sure all of your crew is ready mentally for this journey also, we have no idea what you guys may find out there.”
“Indeed sir. And if you don’t mind me asking, what are we looking for exactly?”
“Son, anything that will further our knowledge about what is out there. And if you encounter any lifeforms be sure to do your best to become allies not enemies with them.” With all that said it was now time for the Starlight to depart from the space station. A few minutes later they were gone only to head further into the dark space in front of them.
“All systems check!” shouted Kevin. Hearing all the crew reply, he settled down into his chair and began to prepare plans for various situations that may occur to them while they are out here.
“Captain we are picking up a large obstacle dead ahead 15 clicks,” said one of the crew members manning the radar. “What actions should we take?”
“Are you detecting any life forms on this obstacle?” asked Kevin in reply.
“As a matter of fact yes. Actually many life forms are showing up on the heat signatures.”
“Okay lets begi….” As the Admiral was giving a command the ship was being hailed. As the screens picture became visible, Kevin was able to make out a face that looked very similar to a human’s with minor changes in the bone structure and markings on the man’s faces. “Hello,” said Kevin in a low demanding voice. “Who might I be speaking with?”
“I am King Arelious of planet Ritotris and I demand to know who is entering the atmosphere of my planet?” answered the figure on the screen.
“I am Admiral Kevin Bridgestone of the planet earth, we mean no harm.”
“Good, good…… so what is it that you do want seeming you are in Ritotrisian space?”
“We are on voyage to explore what is beyond our world. Your planet is the first we have encountered, may we land and meet face to face?”
“ We are sending you coordinates of a landing zone. I will meet as you exit the craft along with your entire crew.” After the confrontation with King Arelious, Kevin gave orders to follow the coordinates and do as the King said. Once The Starlight was safe on the land, the crew began to exit the ship. As they walked off the ship all they could see was flat grassland or mountains everywhere. The air was the same as on earth, if not more rejuvenating. Whenever the Ritotrisians approached them they were in awe at the build of the species. Standing at least 7 ½ feet, with muscles bulging out of their skin tight armor, the citizens of this planet were very intimidating.
“Hello,” said Kevin. “Thank you for letting us land and meet in person.”
“Welcome to the planet Ritotris, we hope that you enjoy your stay.” replied King Arelious.
“You are probably wondering why we are venturing out here, and we can explain. The people of earth recently encounter a species from another world.”
“What did this species look like?”
“Well they didn’t look like you and me. As a matter of fact they looked like serpents.”
“Yes, we have been at war with the creatures that your world has came into contact with. They are not friendly and most likely are planning on destroying your world just as they are planning for ours.”
“I propose that we join forces and take them out before they do the same to us both.”
“Indeed, if this happens I feel that our world will be able to agree to a long term alliance as well.” With the agreement of joining forces, the two groups begin to plan an attack that will cripple this enemy force once and for all. The Ritotris force will attack head on, for they have a stronger weapons arsenal, while the humans will flank and attack the force from behind. The plan has a high success rate because of the fact that the enemy does not know that there is another fleet not manned by Ritotrisians.
The next morning, after the kind hospitality of the Ritotrisians, it was now time for the plan to be executed. Just as expected the enemy attacked head on after the Ritotris blockade. While on the other hand, Kevin and his force came out of nowhere surprising the enemy and together the threat of the destruction of their planets was no longer standing.

Criteria
Distinguished (4)
Accomplished (3)
Developing (2)
Novice (1)
Ideas and Content
Narrative creatively utilizes elements of chosen genre
Focuses writing to make the character development & setting tangible to the reader
Conveys emotion in a new or unique way
Shows not tells

Narrative utilizes elements of chosen genre
Focuses writing to develop characters & setting
Conveys emotion clearly to reader
Mostly shows not tells

Narrative begins to utilize elements of chosen genre
Begins to focus writing to develop characters & setting
Begins to convey emotion to reader
Some showing but mostly telling

Narrative does not fit the chosen genre
Lacks focus and emotion or confuses emotion
Mostly tells not shows

Organization
Structures the story and chooses a conflict carefully
Beginning creatively catches the reader’s attention
Ending artfully allows the reader to come to his or her own conclusion

Structures the story and chooses a conflict purposefully
Beginning catches the reader’s attention
Ending allows the reader to come to his or her own conclusion

Begins to show purpose in structuring the story and choosing a conflict.
Beginning attempts to catch the reader’s attention
Ending attempts to allow the reader to come to his or her own conclusion

Shows no purpose in structuring the story and story lacks a conflict
Beginning does not attempt to catch the reader’s attention
Ending “preaches” to the readers

Style and Voice
Honesty and integrity move and haunt the reader
Shows command of figurative language & realistic dialogue
Shows command of vivid language with active verbs, specific nouns, and economical, clear language

Honesty and integrity help the reader experience the essay
Uses figurative language & realistic dialogue
Uses vivid language with active verbs, specific nouns, and economical, clear language

Begins to develop honesty and integrity in the piece.
Begins to explore uses of figurative language & realistic dialogue
Occasionally uses vivid language with active verbs, specific nouns, and economical clear language

Lacks honesty and integrity in the piece
Lacks figurative language & /or dialogue
Lacks vivid language


Conventions
Demonstrates the correct use of punctuation, spelling, capitals,and usage
Errors not distracting from content
Edits and proofreads own writing and consults outside sources for reflection

Contains few errors in punctuation, spelling, capitals, and usage
Errors not distracting from content
Edits and proofreads writing to correct errors

Contains many errors in punctuation, spelling, capitals, and usage
Errors distracting from content
Begins to develop editing and proofreading skills but may not attempt to correct

Contains repeated errors in punctuation, spelling, capitals, and usage
Readability hindered by errors
No evidence of editing or proofreading

37/40 Engaging story!  Make sure to work on showing techniques.


The author's comments:

This idea has been an idea of mine for awhile. The only thing that I hope people get out of this is enjoyment and a good read.


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