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Dreaming in Colour
"Mum, my pancakes are blue." I said as I poked them with my orange fork.
A doll-like version of my mother looked up from the oven and said "Darling, taste them. Their just the way you like them." I wasn´t sure I wanted to take the risk. Since, this was a dream leaving the kitchen after an order was acceptable. In real life, if I had walked out on my mother (or my mother´s cooking) it would have been a good twenty minute speech about respect. It obviously doesn´t hurt, but still. They’re not particularly pleasant.
When I got to the front-door she was already there waiting for me. "What took you so long? I´ve been waiting all evening." I looked at her unbelievably, "Really? you were waiting for me? That´s odd, I thought I controlled my own dreams." I couldn´t help but be disappointed, I kind of liked the idea of complete power.
"No silly, I’m joking. I showed up the moment you thought of me. " I couldn´t help but to curl my lips, yes, I felt like god again. I didn´t remember thinking of her at all, but usually whatever my actions were in this dream world, I didn´t remember thinking of them.
We walked through my rundown neighborhood, past the old widow´s house, Ms. Allen, and down by the creek which often gets mistaken for a junk yard. I sat on a tire and she sat on a purple arm lawn chair. I loved colors but not change. I figured, most of the stuff should stay the same but I wouldn´t mind if the color´s in my life changed a bit. She smirked at me as I played with my fingers.
"Look, I can´t change anything because I’m just a part of your dream. I don´t make the rules, you do. But can I make a suggestion?" Honestly, I didn´t want to hear it, but I had always been taught to respect my elders. Even in alternate worlds.
"Sure." I said as I twirled my 14 year old fingers around each other.
"Take us somewhere else. You hate this town and since I am a part of you, so do I. Take us, somewhere, with color. Take us… to the mountains, to the beach. I don´t care. Take me somewhere. This might be only an alternate world for you, but this is my life. "
I sat, dumbstruck at my friend´s insights and desires. She was a part of me? No. That didn´t make sense. I was a part of me and only me. But, if this is my mind, I created her, right? If I created her, then I guess that means she is, in some way, part of me. I considered, what she was saying. she was right, this was an alternate world. It wouldn´t be forever.
"Alright. Where would you most like to go?" I said, feeling like a magician, curling up my sleeves in one swift movement. I say this with pride because if it was real life, I would have most likely hit myself in the eye trying a rapid stunt like this. My body never quite agreed with my mind.
"Let´s go all the places, we would like to see in real life. What about a real beach? What about an art studio with all the art tools that exist? Oh, the possibilities are endless." She was so excited that she got me excited, about something I wasn´t even wanting in the first place. Or maybe I was? But then why did she say it? I wondered what part of me she was. She kind of reminded me of my mum, in the way that-- she guided me, through what seemed like a dream world. I focused on an art studio. What I thought it would look like, all the paint brushes, easels, clay, cloths, pencils and most of all, colors.
I pictured it but nothing happened. I blinked at my friend, waiting to get an answer to why it wasn´t working, she always seemed to know the answer to everything. She shook her head in this way that seemed I was doing it ALL wrong. As If I had skipped a chapter in the official dream guide book.
"Your not letting yourself want it. You hardly let yourself draw. You never let your hopes up. This is the dream world boy, If you don´t put your hopes up you have nothing to dream for. You have to want it." She finished by raising her eye-brow, which was Ã¼beraffective.
I thought about what she said and I knew it was right. I decided that I shouldn´t try to go to the places I desired most because those would be the hardest to conjure up. Those are the ones I had buried the deepest in my heart. I needed to go somewhere I could be at peace. I had never been to the beach but I had seen it on TV plenty of times. I pictured it, every detail. The sand wasn´t white or clear, it wasn´t dark though. It was a beige color and it had tons of shells at the shore. There was a cove on the fare right which you could climb into. On the far left there were these huge rocks that you could climb, even I, didn´t know where they went though. The ocean was a deep blue and I hadn´t been in the water yet but I knew there are all kinds of sea creatures in there. Some of them, hadn´t even been discovered like the Hexaquin. Others had been neglected because nobody believes in them. Poor mermaids.
When I opened my eyes, the first thing I saw were the waves. They were beautiful with a mind of their own they swayed to the shore and back, as I watched I caught flashes of colored fish. It was the way I imagined a crayola factory the way the colors seemed to paint everything. My neighborhood was black and grey. White if we were lucky.
I looked at my friend, to see what she thought of my destination. She seemed brighter, she suddenly had more color. As if sensing what I was thinking, she looked at me and said "I feel like i´m experiencing the life that you have a chance to live every day." She smiled at me in a way I had never seen anyone smile. Besides that a smile was rare where I came from, she was being honest. She was honestly enjoying life. The people I knew looked at life as a burden. Something they had to get over with before they died.
"No, believe me, this world is better. You can do anything with no consequences." I was starting to feel the colors, seep into my bloodstream, the life rush through me.
"But, it´s not real. I would give anything to have the chance to feel things, feel things, really." She blushed and started to play with the sand under her legs and looked down miserably.
"Well, what do you consider real? I consider real to be, where we do the things we want. Or not, do the things we want but let our personality lead us." She stared at me strangely. Suddenly, embarrassed at my willingness to share a personal philosophy with her I turned away.
"Well, never mind, I mean… Maybe you’re right. Maybe, this isn´t reality. That doesn´t make it better." A purple rock suddenly appeared at my feet. I threw it into the sea and it skipped the waves, it´s movements were beautiful, like the strokes of a brush.
"Well then, you can choose. Do you want this reality or the other reality?" She had now turned towards me and was staring into me with her big brown eyes.
"What do you mean I can choose? I can´t choose. I have to go back, I have to live my life." I was astounded at how forward she was being.
"This is my present to you. You know what it´s like to live now from your dreams. Live in the real world where you don´t live in reality. Or live in the dream world where you can do everything you wish you could do in reality. Choose. "