Opulence: Third Times the Charm

January 28, 2010
By AquaGem SILVER, Kalamazoo, Michigan
AquaGem SILVER, Kalamazoo, Michigan
5 articles 0 photos 50 comments

Favorite Quote:
Nobody will ever win the Battle of the Sexes. There's just too much fraternizing with the enemy. ~Henry Kissinger

Life it too short to let you matter.


“So, will I learn potions or spells first?” Evan asks.

“Seer affinities are usually moon witches, which means potions. I happen to be a witch of the sun. Still, I have extensively studied potions as well. You will be learning a combination of the two, though mostly potions,” I explain.

“Oh I’m really no good at cooking though,” Evan says, shaking his head vigorously.

“Yes, well there are certain healing potions you’ll learn, along with a few dreaming ones. Those will help you initiate a premonition in your sleep. Of course, most of the training you’ll do on your own, reading books and such,” I continue.

“Great, sounds like fun,” Evan sighs.

I try to be patient and say, “Well, I found the books very interesting while I was learning. Every morning you’ll go to basic lessons with the other apprentices here and combat training. Lessons are split up into a few classes for the different levels. You’ll most likely be in the first level but you’ll be given a placement test in the morning. Mentors take turns teaching the classes so you’ll see me there at times.”

“Then what are you going to teach me?” He asks.


“I’ll teach you after lunch and we’ll work on your magical specialty. That’s really the only area where you need one on one teaching,” I say.

“Well, I guess that’s alright. I’d hate being the only one all the time,” Evan says with a shudder.

“Glad to hear you approve,” I say sarcastically. “Now I should probably introduce you to someone. Come on, I need to get my locating charm for him.”

I lead him to my room and unlock the door, both magically and with the key.

“Well it’s about time. It took you fair decades to get done,” Finley says, the little sprite buzzing around my head as soon as I open the door.

“What are you doing in here?” I ask before looking around.

There, sitting on the middle of my table is a large and rather complex looking doll house. It seems equipped with an indoor pool, greenhouse, garden, tennis court, and little nine hole golf course. There’s a nice patio out in the back with a grill. There appears to be a small steak sizzling on it.

“What is that?” I ask in a tight voice.

“It’s my home of course,” Finley says, sounding proud.

“But what is it doing in my room?”

“Well Walter didn’t see any point in giving me my own set of rooms since I don’t need all that space. He thought it best if I just setup here. Even you have to admit, I don’t take up all that much room,” Finley says.

Evan, getting over the shock somewhat, just says, “Huh, steak. That’s sounds good. How’d you get it that small?”

“You see, my boy, there are many sprite market places within your over-grown ones. There are minimizing spells used to get food to a more compatible size for us. I also keep a little garden. Nothing special, but you know, these days best to go organic. There’s nothing like walking out to your garden and making some nice fresh salsa, picking everything you’d need for it and having grown it yourself,” Finley says.

A little hysterical gasp escapes my mouth. “You’re moving that… mansion. You can live in the office.”

“Bah, I like it here much better. Besides, we finally got all the plumbing worked out. Trust me, you don’t want to have to deal with that again.”

“Uh, maybe I should wait in the hall. Nice to meet you, er, sprite?” Evan says.

“Finley’s the name,” He grins at him before turning to me with a scowl. “I can see you didn’t tell the boy a thing about me. Well, erm… boy, I’m your other trainer.”

“Two trainers?” Evan asks looking a little confused.

“Well, as you can see, Finley is a sprite. The Fey Counsel thought the Organization should get more involved with the other fey races. Therefore Finley and I will be training and teaching you together.”

“So no one else has two trainers?” Evan asks.

“Now, I really do prefer mentor instead of trainer,” Finley says, though we both ignore him.

“No Evan, no one else does,” I tell him.

“You should feel honored. You’re one of a few boys that gets a trainer that’s not a witch,” Finley tells him.

Evan just shakes his head.

“It’s um, not as bad as it looks,” I say lamely.

“Not as bad as it…” Finley says, flying back to land on his roof but misjudging the distance and ending up almost falling with an expressive outburst.

“Fin! Not in front of the kid!”

“Oh, um, crap?” He asks with a sheepish grin. I give him another look and he tries again with, “Fudge?”

“Oh please, like I haven’t heard it all before,” Evan snorts.

“Yes, you’re just so worldly,” I say dryly. “How about we take you to the tailors to get your new clothes, then we’ll have Kate find you someone to give you a tour. In the morning you’ll take a placement test, then meet Fin and I in our office. We’ll give you your schedule.”

“Sounds good. Though I don’t see the point of a placement test. Is there a “zero” place?” Evan asks.

“Bah, witches and all their funny rules. The test doesn’t mean a thing. Just some of these little witches come here knowing some spells and such from their family,” Finley says, giving me a sideways glance.

“Just come on.” I sigh and grumble slightly when Finley perches himself comfortably on my right shoulder after changing form to an angelic looking white kitten.


The author's comments:
Well this is the third Opulence short story. I'm working on writing it as a full novel. Thank you all for the support and feedback. I've really enjoyed the emails I've recieved as well. Hope you enjoy!!

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This article has 69 comments.


on Mar. 17 2016 at 11:50 am
Alfea99 PLATINUM, Oconomowoc, Wisconsin
20 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
"Shoot for the moon! Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars."~ Les Brown

I love this and the other two! I feel confused because in one of the shorts she is a moon witch and in this one she is a sun witch...Did it change as you went on writing? I really do like this so much!

amyy said...
on Jun. 6 2013 at 11:18 pm
Finley is a sprite? What exactly is that? Is it closer to a fairy or is it similar to a witch? Are you planning on posting any other parts of this story? I really like your writing style, and am excited to read more about Evan, Jade, and Finley.   

on Feb. 11 2013 at 3:46 pm
BreakAwayFromMe, Big Island, Other
0 articles 0 photos 16 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I'm scared to get close and I hate being alone.
I long for that feeling to not feel at all.
The higher I get, the lower I'll sink.
I can't drown my demons, they know how to swim." --"Can you Feel My Heart" BMTH

I agree with RedFeather. Also, keep in mind that your comments are supposed to be positive and constructive. If you don't like it than don't read it. That's all there is to it. Your opinion is well-valued by us all, but you need to be less... you know.

on Feb. 11 2013 at 3:43 pm
BreakAwayFromMe, Big Island, Other
0 articles 0 photos 16 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I'm scared to get close and I hate being alone.
I long for that feeling to not feel at all.
The higher I get, the lower I'll sink.
I can't drown my demons, they know how to swim." --"Can you Feel My Heart" BMTH

Exactly.... I wonder.... Maybe it'll be a "hidden scene". :)

J1029 SILVER said...
on May. 11 2012 at 11:19 am
J1029 SILVER, Tampa, Florida
5 articles 0 photos 73 comments

Favorite Quote:
Sing like no one is listening,
Dance like no one is watching,
Love like you've never been hurt and
Live like it's heaven on earth.

- Mark Twain

I agree with you 100% it would be better as a spy instead of a witch magic thing.

J1029 SILVER said...
on May. 11 2012 at 11:19 am
J1029 SILVER, Tampa, Florida
5 articles 0 photos 73 comments

Favorite Quote:
Sing like no one is listening,
Dance like no one is watching,
Love like you've never been hurt and
Live like it's heaven on earth.

- Mark Twain

I agree with you 100% it would be better as a spy instead of a witch magic thing.

bluhs said...
on May. 7 2012 at 7:14 pm
bluhs, E, Alabama
0 articles 0 photos 111 comments
Oh, I really like this story so far. Please, please, pleeeeaaaassse write more!! Finley is to Opulence as Donkey is to Shrek (the movie). Love him!

on Apr. 1 2012 at 9:05 am

 I definatly liked the first on the best, saw the potential for an awesome spy/secret society story. i wish you would have gon that way with it.

Don't get me wrong, I love your story but i think it could have been way cooler as a spy or secret society thriller.

Keep writing, you're awesome at it :D


on Feb. 6 2012 at 10:30 am
OwloftheNight BRONZE, Lawrenceville, Georgia
3 articles 0 photos 2 comments
Once again, this one was very good. I'm interesting at the hint of relationsships between other magical creatures (I'm kinda already in love with Finley). One thing is in the beginning of this one, you said moons specialize in potions and suns specialize in spells, but I think it was opposite in the first one. Just want to make sure that it wasn't mixed up by mistake. :)

on Jan. 18 2012 at 7:51 am
RedFeather GOLD, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
12 articles 0 photos 155 comments

Favorite Quote:
Prose is like walking but poetry is like dancing.
—Paul Valery, poet (1871 - 1945)

It varies. I had a short story that got put up in three days, and one poem took over a month.

on Jan. 18 2012 at 7:48 am
RedFeather GOLD, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
12 articles 0 photos 155 comments

Favorite Quote:
Prose is like walking but poetry is like dancing.
—Paul Valery, poet (1871 - 1945)

I agree. I love the fantasy and magic themed-stories, but they're all centering around vampires now for some reason. Yes I like vampires, but even I'm starting to get tired of all the Twilight and vampires everywhere. Go witches!

on Jan. 18 2012 at 7:44 am
RedFeather GOLD, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
12 articles 0 photos 155 comments

Favorite Quote:
Prose is like walking but poetry is like dancing.
—Paul Valery, poet (1871 - 1945)

Perhaps what you need to know is how to have an open-mind, not what people like about this. Though, I must ask, if you didn't actually like these stories as well, why did you read all three of them? If you didn't like the first one, why read the other two? To answer some of your questions, yes, Evan is a flat character, but he's not the main character in this story, so it doesn't matter. Plus it's the very beginning of this large story, so there hasn't been enough time for the author to show us the extent of his character. Also, people do use alot of those "commonplace phrases" in real life; and magic isn't that hard to use in a short story. I think what you need to do is brodden your horizons so that you aren't forcing yourself to look down your own nose.

on Nov. 3 2011 at 8:09 pm
Victor_Hagar SILVER, Dublin, Ohio
6 articles 0 photos 30 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It's always important to give your arguments impact." Fallout 3, Strength Bobble-head.

Holy crap. I really sound like a broken record but really? How is it that this is so popular? I honestly would like someone to tell me what is good about this, in fact, reply to this comment. Really, go ahead, tell me why people like this, because I can't for the life of me understand how this load is in any way a well written piece of literature. It just goes on and on with dialogue that borrows commonplace phrases that no one actually uses in real life and to top it all off, your character Evan is as dry and shallow as a puddle with out the water. Seriously. Consider building on your skills a bit, and make it a bit easier for skeptics like me to read.
       By the by, magic is hard to write about and is almost impossible to impose in a short story, but if you must write about moon witches then you have to lead your reader into it, and not just bring it out as sudden as a man dropping his underpants in central square. Slow down, and have him tug on his zipper for a bit.

Or just let him keep his pants on. That works too.


on Oct. 24 2011 at 11:43 am
JillianNora SILVER, Forest Park, Illinois
8 articles 2 photos 46 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Do not let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity." -1 Timothy 4:12

I love this story. I read Opulence like a year ago and I'm glad you're continuing it:) (if you're bored, I'd love some feedback on my novel "Stuck in the Past":)

on Oct. 21 2011 at 1:05 am
sunshine04 BRONZE, Vindhyanagar, Other
1 article 3 photos 253 comments
i want more of it sequels

on Oct. 16 2011 at 9:49 pm
Miki-chan BRONZE, Waynesboro, Mississippi
3 articles 0 photos 37 comments

Favorite Quote:
Don't screw with Crazy.

That part is confusing, but I love the story so far.

on Sep. 29 2011 at 9:40 pm
Oh. My. God. You have to publish this book. Is it puiblished? Where can i find it? It's not published? Post it here then! I rrrrreaaaaaaaaally like it! Dude, your majorly talented!

on Sep. 10 2011 at 8:44 pm
parker_01 BRONZE, Fort Worth, Texas
2 articles 1 photo 24 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Oh. You were serious."
-Vampire Academy-
"Every little girl should be told she's pretty; even if she isn't."
-Marilyn Monroe-

I think these are only short scenes from chapters in the full length novel she's writing.. :) 

on Aug. 21 2011 at 3:35 pm
MiNdLeSsLuVeRgIrL BRONZE, Kenly, North Carolina
4 articles 0 photos 120 comments

Favorite Quote:
If you love something let it go, if it comes back its yours if it doesn't, it never was!

Love it but I think it really needs something to take you into the story

on Jun. 11 2011 at 9:39 pm

Well whatever the case is, I hope she puts the scene between Walter and them up soon.

But it might be that she might have, but it took it back down to improve it? Hmm.

 





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