February 3, 2009
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When I look into his eyes, I see the sea. Waves of life breaking over his worn down shores. every crashing wave, a new emotion. Anger foams on his dark sands, soon to recede. taking some of his shore with it. a memory of forever. Nights only last a second there. where the summers last a lifetime. His eyelids flutter to the flow of the crashing waves. Blink, happy, blink, sad. His ever changing scene by the sea reflecting his unique personality. Stormy grays cause his shore to seem dreary to a stranger, but when I look deep enough, wading into his gentle waters, I can see the starry night sky smiling back at me.

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PK4evr This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 13, 2009 at 2:15 am
I don't know about you, but I think it would have sounded better as a poem...
But I definitely liked it! The only problems were a few missing periods...
Good work! If you don't mind, please take a look at this:
bluejay31 said...
Apr. 11, 2009 at 1:26 am
Nicely done. I really liked what you were trying to say in your writing. However, there are grammatical errors. Like after a period, make sure you use a capital letter. Other than the few grammatical errors, good job.
I was hoping you could read and rate my stories as well. If you do, here they are:
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