Beat Inside Me

January 13, 2011
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The truth that locks lies into a box with an invisible cloth over it; is a daughter of time. Some, face it and move on, others stutter and hear the echo of it for a very long while. The truth that some burry under the ground with no air to breathe; are soldiers of fear and doubt. They are the blind lovers fallen into the darkness of reality, hoping for it to never rise. They create a chain of memories that wraps their mind with false beauty of an imperfect person for them, hoping to choke any fact that comes their way; but then there is the power of truth that knows a weak link in every chain and for this one it was just a matter of time before it snapped.
It was a night in December; a night of a polar star that fell into an invisible dark end of sky. It was a night of streaming lights in the depth of his heart giving her the affection that blazed her stomach with sparkles. He drowned her pride into the deepest bottom of snow, making her touch him with words that became so warm. Her pounding heart was in rhythm with the clock that was running on the wall “Tick, Tock, Tick, Tock” making her breath heavy and her mind dizzy from the palms of his hands that lay on her cheeks. He was the pursuit of perfection, the pursuit of sweetness that she had waited.

She met him with the notes of a song, asking for his help with a piano, just like every girl asked for a favor expecting one in return. So he sat on a plastic chair in the middle of the stage with no audience but her, practicing the chords, so he can teach her play. The melody was picked with the saddest theme of her mind, smiling with the thought that it will touch his heart, but just like any guy, his thoughts touched the actions of a love game he played with her, tracing the answers of her intelligence.
All of the bounties of secrets she had harvested from herself were running out of her mouth straight into his ears, making her sound ridiculously in love. Her pure and eloquent blood spoke in her cheeks, telling him that he had a part of her controlled completely. Her eyes pursued his thoughts, faster than he made a move, and the thought of setting a loved one free made her want to hold him every second of the day and not let go. He cast a dim light of faith that glowed through his blue eyes and with all due respect to the rest of the world, she didn’t care about anything else except the idea of them together.

As the rules are meant to be broken, she broke every one of them for him. He was her happiness, in the feeling he gave her, and in the promise of hope renewed. He taught her to walk the arch of hate, pale and to love every detail in this precious world like it would never last. So she let herself be happy without any knowledge of how fleeting that happiness could be. Her fingers punched the tabs playing the melody he thought her every day. To her, he seemed so beautiful that she could not understand why no one was as bothered as she, why no one else's heart was wild with the breeze moved by his kiss, why everyone did not go mad with the flight of his hands, and the gold of his deep laughter that sounded so sweet echoing in a room. Just like the sun broken up into the colors of the rainbow he was the color red in her heart, but faded it did and everything fell apart.
The game of pretend became too old and he wanted a field with a new mission, to win someone else with his arrogance of his beautifully frozen eyes. He placed his foot on her pounding heart of dreams and smudged them all on the ground. So blinded just like love itself, she tried to keep him with another sheet of notes for him to teach her, but the obvious as it always was of him, he just drew a fake smile, letting her know that she has been lied to from the first day they have met.
Losing him was tragic, with her logic disappearing into the dark. She threw her hands in the fallen snow, numb to the coldness of the air. Just like waiting for the traffic lights to go green, he speeded through her life within minutes it seemed. Memories fading in her head and destroying her whole, she understood that nothing beautiful ever lasts. A dozen roses in one hand and his heart in the other were all she ever wanted, while crying for the tragedy of the chemistry she thought they had. Just like a series of fatalities set against a few victories he became the wrong to all rights in her life; while his whispered words happened to be broken, and turned into lies.
As the hearts are meant to be broken, he broke hers for himself. He took her up to the dreamland and let her drop alone. Her mind failing all the lies, and becoming dull for a predictably long time, identified the laws of truth that will have to be learned in time. Miserably fallen, like an angel without wings, she laid her head on a white pillow coloring it with her black mascara tears. The insulting reality that once existed in her mind was now dying in between her taken breaths .To that end, the chain of wonders snapped into the sharpen broken glass, that could not be fixed without cuts on her soft hands. She understood her primary law of truth, that set her free it will, but first it will make everything miserable, and a long way to climb back.

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Emily said...
Jan. 18, 2011 at 2:13 pm
This is so beautiful !
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